Boy, I feel crummy today.

T’s” View
Monday, July 23 - 7:00 AM – Boy, I feel crummy today. It's hot and humid, my hair is straight, the kids want rides and I haven't got a car, my knee hurts, and I have no idea what I'm going to write for today's column. Why don't I just quit my job. And who cares about what I have to say in that dumb column. I wish I could just go back to bed and get up on some other planet. Growl, Growl! Usually I consider myself an “up” person and thought I had all the answers for why people get “down” – self pity, not enough interest in things outside themselves, poor thinking habits, etc., etc.— but now that the “downs” have come upon me, I'm realizing it's not so easy to just “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” and change the downs to ups. Maybe I'm still tired from my vacation, maybe I'm just coming down with something, maybe it's just old age, but this past week I feel like I haven't been myself and it made me realize how painful it is not to be able to be the person you'd like to be. I thought of all the cranky people I've known over the years, whom I've tried to avoid as much as possible because they had such gloomy outlooks, and now that I'm finding myself in their shoes, I see it's not so easy to dispel the blues. All the advice I thought others should take to cheer up now sounds like just words and I feel helpless in getting rid of the blahs. My strongest advice to others when they were in the dumps was for them to forget about themselves and do something for someone else. While I still feel that's useful advice, I'm realizing that it takes some spirit to do that and when you're in the dumps it's probably because that spirit just isn't there. Right now I feel that maybe better advice would be to tell them to forget about everybody else and do something for themselves. What I'd really like to do today is, first of all, take a nap, then maybe sit in the sun for a few hours with a good book and escape from the hectic world of reality. They say we modern women have it easy, with all our time-saving devices in the home, but I don't think women ever had it tougher than today. We have all the jobs we had before plus the added responsibility of taking on outside jobs as well to make ends meet. No wonder we're worn out! How much are we supposed to be able to do in 24 hours? Grumble, Grumble. I'm sorry, really I am. I'm just having a bad day and it would have made more sense to just skip this column today, I'm sure. But then people would want to know why I skipped and I'd only have to tell them the whole sordid story anyway, so here it is in print for all the world to know that I have my share of bad days and good days. If I'm to follow my own advice, though (I always say there's some good in everything, all you have to do is look for it) I guess what I do have to admit is that this miserable mood will teach me at least not to judge those who are cranky and irritable, because it's probably just as painful for them to be what they are as it is for others to tolerate them, and I hope that next time I come across such a person I'll try to see the pain underneath the grouchy exterior. (If you don't see my column next week it either will mean that I still didn't get over the blues, or that I got fired for writing this particular column.)
*Terri the Typesetter
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