To move or not to move, that is the question for my husband and me

Maturity
Friday, August 5, 2005
Terri Andersen
Senior Moments
Lately I have seen a lot of houses for sale in this area, and many condos and big houses being built. - That obviously means a lot of people are on the move. Some people say “now is the time to sell” and others say “now is the time to buy.” Evidently both selling and buying are going strong these days. Why I chose this subject to write about this month is because there's a possibility my husband and I may be among those on the move one of these days, since all five of our grown children moved south (four to North Carolina and one to Florida) for better job opportunities. Now they keep telling us it's our turn to move to be closer to them. On the plus side, we'd move into a smaller place than we have here (now that Herb and I are “up there” in age, the house we're in is getting to be a bit much for us to take care of). Also, we wouldn't have to worry about shoveling snow in the winter, and our boys tell us they would help with any yard work and repairs if needed (everybody tells us not to count on that). The biggest plus, though, is that we'd see our children and our grandchildren more often. On the negative side is the fact that we'd have to leave the many friends we've made in New Milford, plus a house we love (spacious, with lovely views, and within walking distance of the village center, which means a lot to me personally because I don't drive). One of the things that's bothering us, though, is that we'd have to sell before we could afford to buy, and that puts us in a quandary about what appliances to leave behind, since we wouldn't know ahead of time what would be in a house we choose after we sell this one. Then there's the big decision to downsize everything we own in order to have less to move (I hear moving costs a bundle), and I've written previously about how hard it is to part with things we've accumulated over the years. My family and I have been in our house for over 36 years now, and the notion of moving never entered our minds, because we considered this house a godsend from the minute we found it. In 1969, with four children and a fifth one on the way, we were renting a two-bedroom garden apartment in Danbury, when all the tenants were notified that someone bought the whole complex of over 50 units and wanted everyone out so that the apartments could be converted into condos that would eventually be for sale, not rental. My husband and I had no idea how we'd manage to find a new place to live, since we had no savings for a down payment on a house or condo, and there weren't that many landlords who wanted to rent to a family with a lot of kids. (Even when we went to buy a bed one time, with all the kids in tow, the salesperson said, “twin beds for you two, I hope.” I guess he thought he was being funny.) One night, not being able to sleep because I was so worried about where we would live, I started fantasizing about what kind of house would be ideal for us. Four or five bedrooms, preferably all on one floor, and a large yard for the kids to play in would be nice. I then asked God if He would help us find the right house for us, regardless of how many bedrooms it had, as long as it was something we could afford. When I told my husband about my fantasy, he said: “Get real. We'd never be able to afford a house with five bedrooms.” The next day a few neighbors and I got together in my living room and were poring over real estate ads in the newspapers, since we were all in the same situation. After they left, I noticed someone had left one paper open to the ads, and I decided to take another look at it. The first ad that jumped out at me was for a five-bedroom house in New Milford, listed as a handyman special, at a price we might be able to afford if we could get someone to lend us some money for a down payment. Serendipity? At the time, I had no idea where New Milford was, and I didn't even wait for Herb to come home from work (and try to tell me he wasn't that handy). I went right ahead and called the Realtor and asked for an appointment to see the house listed. It wasn't all on one floor, but that was OK. Three flights of stairs would be good exercise for all of us. When the kids saw the spaciousness of the house, they went a little crazy with joy. The two oldest boys, who were 10 and 13 at the time, were ecstatic at the thought of each of them having his own bedroom up in the attic, which had two finished rooms and a tree-top view from four stories up. Our 7-year-old daughter was equally excited about not having to share a bedroom with her siblings, and that left a master bedroom for Herb and me, plus a nursery for the year-and-a-half-old toddler and the baby due the following month. To make a long story short, Herb's parents, my parents and my brother managed to scrape together enough money for a down payment for us, and the house was ours. - Herb turned out to be handier than he thought he was, the kids all pitched in to help in whatever way they could, and I can honestly say we all fell in love with this house. Some years later, the town decided to put sidewalks on our Street, which meant we had to sacrifice a part of the yard to have a driveway put in, but even that was a good thing, since by then the older kids had cars of their own plus friends with cars, and we were the only place on the block with room for six or seven cars. Just the idea of moving at our age is mind-boggling, but we know people who've done it and survived, so I guess we would, too. But it's such a hard decision to make.
Terri Andersen is a resident of New Milford.