My Philosophy Of Life

MY PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE
by Terri Andersen
I believe we're all on this earth for some special purpose, and what happens to us as we lead our everyday lives are the lessons that bring us from one step to the next to reach that goal. The cards we were handed is the deck we have to play, and how we handle a situation has a lot to do with our happiness or unhappiness. From my own experience, I've found that an attitude of gratitude for whatever we have makes for a happier life than a "gimme, gimme.” never satisfied attitude. I think one of the most important things in life is following the Golden Rule in how we treat other people. I know sometimes I fail, through carelessness or not thinking a situation through, but that only makes me resolve to do better next time. The qualities I admire most in people are: honesty, willingness to serve others, and a sense of humor I've learned that how someone judges us is not who we are. If we hold it against them with resentment in our hearts, it doesn't harm them as much as it hurts us, both spiritually and physically. Anger and hatred takes a terrible toll on our bodies and can literally make us sick, while the person the anger is aimed at might not even be aware of what we're going through. I feel every person has value in his or her own right and deserves to be treated fairly. We don't know what goes on in another person's mind and what motivates him or her to do something mean or evil, but it's not up to us to judge anybody without hearing all the facts. I believe evil does not come from God but from people who get carried away with ego and power. Poverty doesn't come from God either, but from people who have much but are unwilling to share the goods of this world with those who have less. I’m convinced that even wars could be avoided if everyone followed the Golden Rule. . There are many people I admire, people I know and people I don't know personally, but the two people I admire most, who come to mind as I'm writing this, are Helen Keller and Mother Teresa. As a blind, deaf mute, life must have been very hard on Helen Keller, and we know in her early years she was filled with rage at the injustice of it all, and frustration in trying to come to terms with her lot in life. Yet in the end she learned to accept her handicaps and embrace her life, with words of wisdom and inspiration for the whole world. Mother Teresa lived a life of great love for God and for all people, especially the neglected poor. She started out with no power, no particular talent, no money, yet she accomplished so much (Schools, orphanages, the Nobel Peace Prize) and became known all over the world just by "doing small things with great love,” to quote her own words.


Just a little note from Karen
This is Mom's 88th article I have posted. This will be the last one I post. The number 88 also represents the number of keys on a piano, it was her favorite instrument to play!
Hopefully you all have enjoyed her articles, some published and the later ones not published and I hope I have done a small thing that you enjoyed and continue to enjoy with great love! I have certainly enjoyed posting these articles, some made me laugh some made me cry...

Let every day be Thanksgiving Day

Let every day be a thanksgiving day
 By Terri Andersen
We all know that Thanksgiving Day is not the only time of the year to be thankful, but how many of us are aware that there is a spiritual law of nature regarding gratitude? It asserts that appreciating the good in life leads to attracting more good into that life. As the Positive Thinking author Norman Vincent Peale put it in a Plus magazine article, “In some unfathomable way, the acknowledgment of past blessings seems to be the activator of new blessings.” He also said that if we focus on the adversities in our life, we'll attract more adversity, but if we look for and are grateful for the good things that come our way, we'll attract more to be thankful for. So it seems evident that what we should strive for is an attitude of gratitude, since “the thankful person is aligning himself with the most powerful force in the universe and is drawing strength from it,” according to Dr. Peale. TV talk show host Oprah Winfrey also subscribes to that idea. A while back she advocated that her viewers keep a gratitude journal and each night write down five things they were grateful for that day. Then she had people who followed her advice come on her show to tell what a difference it made in their attitudes and in their lives. It was very uplifting. Even William Shakespeare had something to say about the subject, namely, “O Lord, that lends me life, lend me a heart replete with thankfulness.” On a closer to home level, I would say my father was a man who appreciated what life offered him, and while he never achieved the world's idea of wealth, it can be said that he was a rich man because he was content with what he had and didn't dwell on what he didn't have. He was always aware that there were those who had so much less than he did. One of the things he liked to say was, “If I can't have what I want, I want what I have.” When I first heard that, I considered it strange and didn't see the sense of it. But as I got older I realized what he meant. An example in my own life is the house I live in. In 1969 when my husband and I were looking for a house for our family of seven, I wanted a 5-bedroom modern ranch, all on one floor. What we got was an older home with four stories (from walk-out basement to full attic) because it was in our price range and the ranch wasn't. At first I was disappointed, but my father was quick to point out the big windows that would allow our home to be filled with sunshine, the beautiful view of the hills and the sunsets from our kitchen window, and the spaciousness of the rooms in general to accommodate our family. Over the years I realized that I honestly love this house. It turned out to be perfectly suitable for our lifestyle and all those stairs give me plenty of exercise. (I don't need a Stairstepper.) I even love the lone bathroom that forced us all to get organized enough to schedule shower time every morning. (The bathroom is 7x13 with a double sink and has room for my own little vanity table and chair.) Another example of learning to appreciate what I was given applies to a job I once had. The company I worked for was moving to another town and I didn't want to commute, so I settled for a lesser paying job within walking distance from my home. At first I felt bad about having to start over, but as I told myself to appreciate the fact that at least I had a job and gave it my all, one thing after another fell into place, and with raises and promotions that job turned out to be the best I ever had. (And believe it or not, the first company landed up going out of business.) It's been said that happiness comes from less complaining and more thanksgiving. So I believe Dr. Peale was right when he wrote, “If you affirm thankfulness, blessings will flow.”

Pursuing a Passion

PURSUING A PASSION
 By Terri Andersen
A year or two ago someone gave me a cassette tape of Chopin Waltzes by a pianist I never heard of, but I loved all the songs on the cassette and decided I was going to learn to play them on my piano. I especially loved the last song on the cassette because it was lively and lilting, and it made me want to dance. In fact my granddaughter and I did dance every time we heard the song. The only trouble was that the song didn't have any identification as to Opus or No. like all the other waltzes had - the last two songs on the cassette were just listed as “Posth.” (for posthumous I guess). Looking through the music books I had at home, I was able to find a book with a lot of Chopin waltzes but it didn't have the song I wanted most. The cassette was dated 1990, put out by a company with an address in NJ. I wrote to the company to see if they could tell me where to find the music for that last Song, but they never answered me. Then I went on the Internet and looked up the brand name, the pianist's name, and any other name that was on the cassette, but nothing worked. When I told my son in NC about my search for the song, he mentioned that there was a music store in Raleigh that claimed to have almost every piece of music ever Written. I asked him to see if he could find what I was looking for, but without having heard the Song himself, he was unsuccessful. He did say though that he'd take me to the Store the next time I visited him in NC. True to his word, when I came to NC that summer he took me to this huge music store (it looked more like a warehouse) and I was as excited as a kid about to get the toy she was hoping to get for Christmas. One part of me warned not to get my hopes up too high, but another part of me said, this is the place where my song is hiding. I actually said a prayer when I entered the store. “Dear God, if that music is in this place, please let me find it.” My son suggested we go right to the Chopin section (they had every composer and music type you could think of) and the first thing I saw was a book of Chopin Waltzes. I looked through it and tried to read the music enough to figure out the melodies, but Chopin's music is not as easy to sight-read as popular songs of the day. A person standing next to me said, “Why don't you take the book to one of the piano rooms in the back and play some of the notes?” Totally surprised that the store even had that available, I found a piano and played a few notes of the last song in the book first - and Wonder of wonders, it was the song I was looking for! I was ecstatic and couldn't have been happier if someone had handed me a thousand dollars. When I learned to play the piece but was having trouble memorizing it, my husband said something cute like, "Don't forget you're getting older now and might not be able to memorize anymore.” Well, that's all it took. I practiced that song every day until I got it down pat in my head and it’s now a song I can play all the way through without music and without forgetting where I am if I make a mistake.
Passion pursued - satisfaction realized.

Empowering Myself

EMPOWERING MYSELF
 By Terri Andersen
 Everything we use needs a source of power: our appliances need to be plugged into an electric socket, flashlights and other devices need batteries, a car needs gasoline to keep it running, a gas grill needs propane gas, etc., etc. Isn't it amazing that human beings don't have to be plugged in to anything yet their hearts keep pumping blood throughout their bodies and their lungs keep breathing without any visible source of power. So where does our power come from? We read in the Bible that after God made the first human being, he breathed life into him. Evidently that activated man’s life for as long as he lives on this earth and then goes on to provide life for all the seeds of procreation that follow. I think that’s amazing. When I marveled at that thought not too long ago, the friend I was speaking to sort of refuted what I said by saying that actually the food we take into our bodies is what keeps us alive. “True.” I agreed, “but who created the food supply in the first place? And who made it possible for a food's seed to procreate itself indefinitely? Just recently I heard a research scientist on TV admit that man has not yet been able to invent a seed. He might be able to clone something from the original, but the original is still a mystery man has not been able to produce.” So how do I empower myself? By using that wonderful gift God gave us that reflects His own image in us, namely, the mind. And being the wonderful, loving being He is, He also gave us a free will. We can choose to adore Him or reject Him. I feel I can empower myself by how I think and what I choose to do. When I stay connected with my source and live my life in tune with His laws I feel empowered. If anyone needs concrete proof in how that empowers me, when my family needed a new place to live about 35 years ago and money was extremely tight, I brought the problem to God and went so far as to specify what kind of house it would be nice for us to have, namely five bedrooms and a big yard for our children to play in. When I mentioned this to my husband, he scoffed and said, "Yeah, right, how could we possibly be able to afford a house with five bedrooms?” Well, just before our fifth child was due and we had to be out of the 2-bedroom apartment we were renting because the complex was sold and the new owner wanted to renovate to condos, guess what we found? A house with five bedrooms and a beautiful back yard for the kids, at a reasonable price that we could afford. Need another example? When a company I worked for was moving out of New Milford, I asked God if He could find me another job I could walk to, since I didn't have a car and didn't drive. About a week later when I was passing a building I had passed for 16 years without ever considering it a place for me to work in, I suddenly stopped in my tracks and decided to see if any jobs were available there. Would you believe, the Personnel lady asked me how I heard about the opening; they had been looking for a Secretary for four months, and I was hired. It turned out to be the best job I ever had. Any doubts about who sent me there? I rest my case.

Why I Write

WHY I WRITE - By Terri Andersen
In a writing class I once attended, we were asked to answer the question "Why do I want to write?" Good question. I've often asked myself exactly that and haven't really come up with a good answer. It seems there's something driving me to want to write, yet I seem to have a tendency to be lazy about it and usually don't get around to writing something until I have an assignment of some kind or a deadline. Often I don't have the confidence that I could write anything worthwhile, so why does my mind keep telling me to do it? When I actually do get something written, something seems to come alive in me and I guess that's what keeps me trying to do it. At this stage of my life, although the thrill of seeing something I wrote in print is a spirit lifter, another reason I want to write is to be able to earn some extra money to live on in retirement. "What do I want to write?" was another question asked that I didn't really have an answer for. I thought I would like to write short stories or mysteries, because I enjoy reading them so much, but I can't imagine ever being able to do it. I think what I'd really like to write is something inspirational that might help people. But so far, all I've written are articles for the local newspapers. Actually, I had a few articles written before I ever worked for a newspaper, just for fun, I guess, and when the first one was actually published, I was about as thrilled as I could be, even though I didn't get paid for it. I was working as a typesetter at the local paper at the time and an editor needed something to fill some pages, so I told her I had some things written at home and she told me to go get them, which I did. I left them with her and had no idea if she could use them or not, but when I saw two of my pieces in the paper the next day (by-line and all), I was absolutely ecstatic. It seemed people liked the articles and the editor told me I could bring more in if I wanted, which led to a monthly column for me. (No pay at first, but later they even decided to pay me to keep writing them. ) I felt like a celebrity when someone would tell me they liked my article and by now I must have written over a hundred articles, if not more. When I left the publishing business to work for the state I figured my writing days were over. But even at the State, if some company publication came out and asked for contributions from employees, I always had to put my two cents in and they always used what I wrote. Since I retired eight years ago, I got articles published in the local papers On a regular basis, and would like to do even more writing, but there's still that procrastination habit in me. A few years ago I got together once a week with two very wonderful friends who wrote and we motivated each other to get something written for magazine publication, but as often happens, little by little one thing or another kept us from meeting and that was the end of my magazine ambitions. No, I can't really say that. I still would like to write something that a magazine would print. But you know what they say about writers. . . everyone wants to be a writer but doesn't make writing the priority it takes to succeed at it. I guess that includes me.

Does it ever pay to worry?

DOES IT EVER PAY TO WORRY?
BY Terri Andersen
 It seems every time I worry about something coming up in my life which sounds like possible disaster, it almost always turns out to be nothing that needed worrying about. Example, a trip my husband found on the internet which was what I really wanted but the price sounded too good to be true. When the company offering the trip called us to schedule our time with them, we gave them our name, address and credit card number and asked for a confirmation from them as soon as possible. What the person on the phone said was "I'll transfer you to my manager and he'll give you all that information.” Red flags went off in my head as soon as the manager quickly informed us that we'd be required to attend a 60-minute presentation soon after our arrival, and he stressed that there were no refunds or cancellations. When our confirmation finally came a few days before our departure, it stated that if we did not attend the presentation, or if our yearly income was under $50,000, an extra $150 would be charged to our credit card. I called the company immediately and told them we didn't earn that much, only to be told by whoever answered the phone, not to worry, we were already approved. When we went to attend the required presentation to avoid the extra charge, the first thing we had to do was fill out a questionnaire that included what category we were in financially. The person in charge took one look at our form and told us we couldn't attend the presentation because we didn't earn enough money. My first concern was if we would have to pay the extra $150. I let him know that I wrote for a newspaper and would be sure to expose their system to the public, then my husband and I left to spend a day at the beach which would have been wonderful if I didn't have to worry about how much extra they would charge us. Luckily, they didn't add anything to our bill, but I did learn a lesson, which is to read fine print carefully. If an ad says a customer must be over age 18 and a homeowner, be aware that it could very well be a hidden time-share operation. No sooner did that worry go away when I found something else to worry about. On a visit to my daughter in Florida I mentioned how hard it was to spot one's luggage on an airport carousel, since so many bags look alike, most being black canvas and hard to single out. My daughter, an excellent floral artist, painted a beautiful rose on my luggage, so that it would be easier for me to identify my bag. The bag is so beautiful now I'm afraid someone will steal it when it comes past them. My son-in-law said: “Is there anything you don't worry about?” I had to admit I couldn't think of anything. But I think it runs in my family. I had two sisters who worried so much they didn't think I worried at all in comparison. When anyone pointed out to my oldest sister that nothing she worried about actually happened, her answer was: "It didn't happen because I worried enough before time and already suffered enough.” My most recent worry had to do with getting an airline reservation. Rather than addressing a specific company online directly, I put in a Google search and landed up getting listings for a variety of airlines. When I finally decided on which line to travel, I landed up with a confirmation from a travel agency in Pennsylvania. Lesson learned: use the official address of the airline (Delta.com, AA.com, etc.) rather than a general search. I could have saved myself a lot of confusion and possibly even a few dollars. Oh well, live and learn.

We're never too old to learn something new

WE’RE NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW
SENIOR MOMENTS Terri Andersen
Computer technology has sure come a long way since my first introduction to it in 1978, when my husband and I visited one of our sons college in Troy, NY and were taken on a tour of the “computer building.” That’s right, it took a whole building to house the components that were so huge one wondered how to reach any of the parts that made them function. Little by little, though, as the units became smaller and smaller (from desktop, to laptop, to iPad, etc.) they took over the typewriters and calculators all over the world.
The first time I had to use a computer at my job in the 1980's, I was terrified. Hitting a wrong key by mistake (like the delete button instead of the return key) or pressing a key slightly too long (and getting a whole line of the same letter), was enough to cause panic when the machine wasn't doing what I expected it to do. I must admit, however, that the computer made me a more religious person. At least ten times a day I'd pray: “Oh, God, what do I do now?
Like everything else, though, once you learn something all of a sudden it’s not as impossible as you thought it might be. And thanks to places like the Senior Center people who didn't grow up playing with computers at three years old and using them all throughout their school years can experience that senior citizens might never have thought possible for them is now available and bringing a lot of enjoyment and feelings of accomplishment into their lives.

Finding a Job

HIS MYSTERIOUS WAYS
 Not owning a car, I had to find jobs that I could walk to, and considering that the town I lived in was not very large, it always surprised me that I did manage to find work within walking distance of my home. When the newspaper I worked at for l0 years was moving to a location I could no longer get to on foot, I found another place to work a few blocks away. After six years there, it turned out they also would be moving, to a new location out of town. By then, I had no idea where I would find another job within walking distance. So I asked God to please help me. One morning as I was passing the small brick building where the Dept. of Transportation was located, I suddenly stopped in my tracks and wondered if they had any openings. I had passed that building for l6 years on my way to work and thought it was just a state garage or something, a place where only men seemed to work. But that particular morning I decided to stop in and see if I could possibly get a job there. Once I was inside the building, I was surprised to see a few women at regular office desks and asked the one nearest the door if any jobs were available. She directed me to the small cubbyhole of an office where the Personnel Manager worked and when I asked about the possibility of getting a job there, she said, "Oh, you heard about the opening?" They were looking for someone to fill a clerical position that had been vacant for over four months. I was hired!  I guess God was saving it for me.-And it turned out to be the best job I ever had.

The House we lived in and loved

HIS MYSTERIOUS WAYS
 THE HOUSE WE LIVE IN (AND LOVE)
Three months before our fifth child was due, the Owner of the garden apartment complex we lived in sent out notices that everyone would have to find other living quarters because he was converting the apartments into Condominiums, which would be for sale in the next year or so. With no savings and a baby on the way, we had no idea where to go. Apartments were scarce and expensive, and there weren't many landlords who wanted to rent to a family with five children. Since all Our neighbors also needed new places to live, that was the main topic of conversation in the complex. Everyone was looking through the classifieds and talking to real estate agents. One night when I had trouble falling asleep, I let my mind wander and imagine what kind of place I'd like to live in. A house of our own with five bedrooms and a big yard for the kids to play in would be nice. A reasonable price would definitely be a requirement. Soon I found myself asking God to please help us find a decent place to live, even if it didn't exactly meet my imaginings. The next morning when I was relating my wishful thinking to my husband, he looked at me with raised eyebrows, and said facetiously, "Yeah, right. We're going to be able to afford a house with five bedrooms. And tomorrow We're going to win a million dollars." Later in the afternoon, as I was straightening up the living room, there was a newspaper on the coffee table, folded to the classified section. I figured one my neighbors had probably left it there when a few of us got together that morning to discuss our situation. As I was about to throw the paper into the wastebasket, my eye caught one of the ads in the Homes for Sale section. "Handyman Special - 5 BRs, bath, LR, DR, Kit, lg yard. needs some work. reasonable." I immediately called the number in the ad and asked when my husband and I could look at the house. I never did anything like that before, Without even consulting my husband, but I just felt I had to see that house. Much to our surprise, the house was in good shape structurally and just needed cosmetic repairs like painting and cleaning. It was in a price range we felt we could handle and as housing prices went up over the years, it turned out to be the best bargain we ever got. Our family has spent 35 happy years in this house and I thank God for it every day.
Terri Andersen

School Daze

SCHOOL DAZE by Terri Andersen
With kids going back to school soon I thought it might be a good idea to impart some of the wisdom I've accrued over the years when it comes to remembering Certain things, like state Capitals and the nine times table, for instance. For some reason, when I was in school the nine times table seemed the hardest to memorize. Then I came up with what I thought was an incredible discovery. (Maybe it won't be that incredible to anyone else, but it was to me, so for what it's worth, I'd like to share it.) If you want to know what nine times another number is (up to l0), just take one away from the number you want to multiply and add whatever it takes to total nine. Example: 9 x 3 = 27. Two is one less than three and two plus seven equals nine. 9 X 7 = 63. Six is one less than seven and six plus three equals nine. Got it? I just think that's so neat. Then there were the state capitals to memorize. I found if you make up sentences to help you remember, it's a lot more fun. For example: D'you know the Capital of Alaska? (Juneau). Here are a few more I thought up for my kids when I was trying to help them remember the capitals. Shy Anne never left her home in Wyoming. (Cheyenne). Columbus liked Ohio best when he discovered America. (Self explanatory). All the boys he knew went to Idaho (Boise). There are an awful lot of little rocks in Arkansas (Little Rock). Johnny Carson played Nevada so many times, they named their capital after him (Carson City). Okay, just One more and then you can think up your Own. A Frenchman named Pierre Was headed for Canada but he only got as far as South Dakota (Pierre, S.D.)
Do they still teach the spelling helps they did years ago? Like "i before e (believe, niece), except after c (deceit, receive), or when sounded like 'a' as in neighbor or weigh." I added a few of my own clues to remember how to spell certain words. Example: accommodations. So many people seem to spell that Wrong. To remind myself that there are two c's and two m's, I think of a hotel room with two double beds. (Got it? Hotel accommodations?) In comparison, "accumulate" has two c's and one m, and "recommend" has one c and two m's. (No wonder they say the English language is one of the hardest to learn.)
Affect and effect seem to give people a lot of trouble, so here's my little secret. If it affects you, it will probably have an effect on you. Affect is a verb denoting an action that brings about a change; effect is usually a noun meaning the result. (What can I say, I used to like to diagram sentences when I was in school. Do they still teach that?)
To anyone going back to school, enjoy all the learning you can. It's good for the brain, it makes life more interesting, and who knows, it may give you material for a column someday.

Getting to the other side

GETTING TO THE OTHER SIDE - By Terri Andersen
When I was five years old, my family lived on a busy city street with trolley tracks running down the middle of it. Of course, I was not allowed to cross any street by myself at that age, but it really didn't matter to me until one day, as I was sitting on the front step of the building we lived in, I heard someone calling, "Little girl, little girl, what’s your name?” As I looked around to see where the sound was coming from, I saw another little girl directly across the street. I got up and went as close to the curb as I dared and immediately she yelled across the noisy street, “My name is Annie. I'm not allowed to cross this street. Can you come over here?” "I'm not allowed to cross streets yet, either,” I hollered back, but from that day on, we looked for each other whenever we were outside and conversed as best we could whenever there was a little lull in traffic. She told me about herself and her family and I told her about mine and we both felt we made a friend, even if it was at a distance. When I was six years old, my family decided to move to a new location, and wonders of wonders, it happened to be in the same apartment house that Annie lived in. It was around the corner of the other side of the street. When Annie and I saw each other in the hall of that building we jumped for joy and spent almost all of our time together from that day on, on the same side of the street.
When I was nine years old, my family moved again, and Annie and I were heartbroken at the thought of not seeing each other anymore, but even though we went to different schools, we were still in the same town so we did bump into each other now and then and it was like we had never been apart. We kept in touch over the years and the friendship continued even after we both moved to other states. The year before last I visited Annie in Arizona and we spent a few hilarious days in Las Vegas, then this year she came east and we met in New York City for lunch and a Broadway play. So now I guess you could say we're getting to the other side of the country and love being able to tell people how we've been friends for over 65 years.
Not long ago I got a package in the mail from Annie. In it was a ceramic heart with this inscription: "Friendship is a promise made in the heart, unbreakable by distance, unchangeable by time.” I love it.

Living Outside The Box

LIVING OUTSIDE THE BOX By Terri Andersen
When the title subject was suggested for our writing assignment this week, my first thought was, “what have I got to say about living outside the box - I've lived most of my life inside the box - followed the rules, obeyed my parents, worked as a secretary, then got married and raised a family. That's what was expected and that’s what I did. Then I made myself think back over my life and realized there were times I lived outside the box. For instance, at age 6 or 7, my friend Annie and I picked up trolley transfers that people discarded on the street and we rode to the end of the line and back without our parents having the slightest idea of what we were doing. From age 10 and throughout my teens, instead of doing what the average kid was doing, I was a salesgirl, a buyer for sheet music and greeting cards, plus a window display decorator at my parents music store. As a buyer for sheet music, it was my responsibility to keep track of what was selling and what was not, then order what we needed from a company on Broadway in New York City. I'd take the subway to New York by myself to pick up special orders and to see what was new that I thought might sell in our store. We also sold greeting cards as a side-line and it was my job to be sure samples were displayed and numbers were kept track of to reorder when the salesman came. I know some of them hated dealing with a kid, just by the way they'd ask where the owners were, but if they wanted an order they had to show me their merchandise and I was the one to give them their order. When I graduated high school and became a secretary, I decided to join the USO so I could dance often. It so happened the USO was held in a YMCA and in order to be a hostess I had to have a letter of recommendation from my boss. When he got the form to fill out, the first question he asked was how come I was joining the men's YMCA instead of the women’s YWCA. So I guess I could say that was a step outside the box for that day and age. When I got married and stayed home to raise a family, I guess I lived in the box by taking care of the kids, catering to my husband, going to church every Sunday, and pretty much doing whatever the average housewife did. As a senior citizen I figured I'm still living inside the box, but when I see what's going on in the World today, I have second thoughts about that. It seems somehow the box became inverted and the inside is now the outside. Today's norm seems to be casual sex, wearing clothing that almost completely exposes the breasts and barebelly buttons, dancing that emulates the sex act, hair that looks like Someone chopped it up with an ax, and couples living together without benefit of marriage. When a 14-year old girl laments the fact that she's the only one in her class who hasn't had sex yet, when her classmates are, and when college students feel it's okay to cheat on tests, something's twisted - in other words what my generation considered wrong is now considered right and the way to go. Being faithful in a marriage, going to church every Sunday, even dressing modestly has become opposite the norm. So I guess I’m living outside the box now.

A Fun Ride

A FUN RIDE by Terri Andersen
This past summer, three of my sons decided to go white-water rafting in Tennessee. Two of the boys lived in North Carolina and the other son lived in Connecticut, from where he and a friend traveled to meet the other two in Tennessee. After the adventure they said they had an exciting ride and I was glad to hear that.
Last week Jim, one of our sons from North Carolina, came to visit my husband and me in Connecticut and somehow we got on the subject of near death experiences. Conversation was flowing smoothly until Jim told about the time he felt certain he was about to die and how surprised he was at how peaceful he felt and ready to accept it.
In typical mother astonishment and aghast at such news, I asked when that took place, since it wasn't something we had ever talked about before. Much to my surprise, I got the full story of what happened on the white-water rafting trip last summer.
It turned out that at a certain point in the rafting experience, the boat hit some rocks and the guide got out of the boat to direct it away from the rocks. When she thought it cleared the rocks, she jumped back into the raft and capsized it, causing everyone in the raft to fall into the water.
One of our sons broke a finger when he tried to hold onto a rope while falling into the rapids, and the other two found themselves unable to balance themselves into an upright position. Jim, the son who was relating the story, said he was upside down in the water, caught under the raft, and full of water in his lungs because he didn't get a chance to hold his breath before he fell.
It was at that time that he felt sure he was about to die, his lungs bursting and his mind confused about which way was up. Finally someone yelled to him to grab a rope they were trying to reach him with but he told us he just couldn't grasp it, until finally there was a knot at the bottom of the rope that kept his hand anchored and they were able to pull him up from the water.
As it turned out, he wasn't the only one in trouble. Another son had fallen into the water also, and couldn't stop shaking when he was pulled out. Son number three was the one whose finger caught on a rope and who landed up with a finger broken in two places before he was dragged back into the raft. His friend landed up being picked up by another raft just in time.
“Oh, my God,” I said, “what a horrible experience. I bet you'll never go white water rafting again,” only to hear my son say, “Are you kidding? That was exciting. Sure
we'll go again. Now we know what to do to keep from falling into the Water.”
Oh, vey - and they wonder why mothers get gray hair.

Even retirees need a vacation

OPINION
Cary News
Senior Moments
Terri Andersen
Just because someone retires from the workplace doesn’t mean life is a constant vacation. There's the housework, shopping for food, deciding what to cook for dinner, laundry, bills to be paid, the checkbook to balance, etc. Don't get me started on the lawn. Since I don't drive, I have to depend on Herb, my husband of  55 years, to take me to the stores, the post office, the bank, or wherever I need to go, and he's often not that anxious to leave his computer and take out the car. While I was starting to feel cooped up in the house, Herb felt perfectly content to stay at home with his dog Lucky. The kids got him the dog to get him out of the house a few times a day to walk the dog. But when I mention a vacation of any kind, he's not anxious to go any place. I needed a break. I wanted to see our grandchildren in Florida so I decided to go by myself. Herb did take me to the airport, and I was off. In Orlando airport I felt like a celebrity when I heard two familiar voices shouting “Grandma” as they came running to my side. Soon we caught up on everything. I saw the perfect marks the kids had on their report cards, played all kinds of games and even went to Disney World, where we dined under palm trees, watched fireworks, and did a lot of sight-seeing. While I was on vacation my daughter, her husband and their 13-year-old daughter did all the cooking and wouldn't even let me rinse out a dish. It was the vacation I longed for. I did think of Herb at times and wondered how he was doing, since as long as I'm in the house it's presumed that any cooking or cleaning is my responsibility. Even frozen waffles, toast, and cereal supposedly taste better if I put them in front of him at the table all prepared. A little while after I got back from Florida we got a phone call from old friends of ours we hadn't seen in 40 years. They wanted to know if we'd like to vacation with them, and this time Herb agreed to go. He found a kennel he felt would take special care of Lucky, and we went to Virginia Beach for a few days with our friends. We are thinking of getting together again soon. Did my time in Florida make Herb miss me, forcing a change of heart? - Maybe he just needed a vacation like I did. - After all, he had to fend for himself in the kitchen while I was gone.

MOM'S LAST scanned ARTICLE from her BIG BLUE ALBUM of articles.
I didn't scan them all because some were either too big to fit on scanner
or they came out too messed up after scanning.

Whatever happened to truth in advertsing?

Whatever happened to truth in advertising?
 BY TERRI ANDERSEN
In the last year or two we've been deluged with advertisements that promise to give us wonderful deals on telephone, Internet and television coverage. But when we decided which offers to pick, we found that what was supposed to help us save money did just the opposite. Prices on all three services got higher and higher without anyone giving us notice of the hikes until the payment bills arrived. What was offered at under $100 a month quickly turned into over $200 a month. When we tried to reach anyone in the company to tell them we didn't ask for the extras we were being charged for, we couldn't get anyone to talk to us. The only option we had was to talk to an automated machine that didn't accept any of the answers we gave it because the machine had its own programmed words that we were supposed to use. Supposedly there were representatives available someplace but they were usually "busy with other customers."To soothe our frustration, a voice let us know that we could communicate online, which all the companies seem to prefer these days, but as seniors who aren't as technologically advanced as the younger generation, we would prefer to do business with a human being. Almost every day we get complicated e-mails from the phone and TV companies that leave us at the mercy of poor communication because we don't fully understand what they want us to do. Sometimes we'd like to write a note when we're paying a bill, but they don't want any correspondence with bills being paid. A few months ago, my husband and I decided to change our television provider because the one we had for a few years got too expensive and it seemed the phone company had a bundle offer that could save us money. There were commercials on TV and fliers in the mail for deals ranging ranging as low as $9.99 per month to $34.99 a month for TV coverage, so we switched to a new TV provider. In spite of the fact that the ads showed low fixed rates for 12 months, within a three month period our bill went from $20.35 to $58.82 per month and the company we signed up for was no longer in the phone company's bundle. (Evidently they offer great bargains to new customers but don't appreciate loyal paying customers.) In addition to the fact that the price more that doubled in the first three months, we weren't satisfied with the new TV coverage we had changed to - our favorite channels were not included in their package and messages that we couldn't understand kept popping up on the screen-which made us decide to cancel that TV service. We were quickly told we'd have to pay a $200 penalty for breath of a contract that required staying with the company for two years and that they would charge it to the credit card we used to sign up with them originally. I didn't think a company was allowed to do that and I find it a little scary to know our credit card can be at someone's disposal long after a transaction on it took place. Evidently one isn't allowed to cancel a service she isn't satisfied with anymore.So much for trying to save money from bargains advertised. It's very discouraging to do business with people who advertise one price but find all kinds of reasons to charge you more. Worse yet, why do we have to pay so much for TV coverage when we're actually paying for all those commercials we hate to watch? If commercials are the lifeline of TV producers, why can't they just show them at the beginning or end of a program instead of every few minutes all throughout the programs we're watching? If that makes their income suffer, another way they can get more money in their pockets is to pay the celebrities less. A million dollars an episode for each player in a sitcom is ludicrous.
carynews.com This article was online.

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What I'm learning from the emails my friends send me

Opinion Cary News
Carynews.com
What I'm learning from the e-mails my friends send me
BY TERRI ANDERSEN
It's always nice to get some mail, whether it be tangible in our mailbox at the end of the driveway or e-mails readable on our computer. When e-mails first became popular, most of them were just to keep in touch, but lately most of my e-mails come with attachments, some of which are very informative and some of which are pretty ridiculous. The ones that ask me to forward them to a number of people in order to have "good luck if you do and bad luck if you don't" remind me of the old chain letters that used to circulate and I ignore them. An e-mail I got recently reinforced my decision to think twice before forwarding. It claimed Snopes.com warns people that e-mails that ask for forwarding almost always have an e-mail tracker program attached that tracks the cookies and e-mails of those folks you forward to, which only benefits telemarketers and spammers. Another warning is not to add your name and e-mail address to listings that sound like you're supporting a great cause but actually are not. All they're doing is helping the spammers get rich. "E-mail petitions are NOT acceptable to Congress or any other organization. To be acceptable, petitions must have a signed signature and full address of the person signing the petition." A worthwhile e-mail I got from a neighbor who is a nurse taught me that female heart attacks are usually different than male heart attacks, in that "women rarely have the same dramatic symptoms like sudden stabbing pain in the chest, cold sweat and dropping to the floor." One woman who was just sitting in her recliner said she felt an awful sensation of indigestion, followed by a sensation of little squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up her spine and under her sternum. The process continued on into her throat and branched out into both jaws. That made her remember how she had often read or heard about pain in the jaws being one of the signals of an MI (myocardial infarction) and the woman said aloud to herself “Dear God, I think I'm having a heart attack!" She dialed paramedics. She didn't remember the medics coming in or getting her into an ambulance and taking her to the ER. In a few minutes they threaded a tiny angiogram balloon up her femoral artery into the aorta and into her heart where they installed two stints to hold open her blocked right coronary artery.
The woman said she wrote about the details because she wanted everyone to know what she learned first-hand. Another e-mail tip: Recognizing signs of a blood clot/stroke is also an important thing to know. Getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and getting medically cared for within three hours can save a life. See if a possible victim can do —four things: smile, talk (speak a simple sentence), raise both arms, stick out his/her tongue (if the tongue is crooked or goes to one side or the other, that could be an indication of a stroke.) If the person has trouble with any of these tasks, call 911 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher. Remember the letters STRT. Tick removal was the topic in another e-mail I received. It said a good way to remove a tick is to "apply a glob of liquid soap to a cotton ball and let it stay on the repulsive insect for 15-20 seconds, after which the tick will come out on its own and be stuck to the cotton ball when you lift it away." One of the less serious e-mails I received had to do with a new wine for seniors. Most of
us have heard of Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio, but the new wine would reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night. It would be marketed as Pino More. (LOL)

Humor comes in many forms

ΤΗΕ CARY NEWS
carynews.com
Humor comes in many forms 
BY TERRI ANDERSEN
I like to listen to preacher Joel Osteen's television program every week, and one of his recent topics was on the healing power of laughter. He mentioned that it's a good remedy for stress, it can build your immune system and even lower your blood pressure, in addition to possibly helping you sleep better.
He went on to say a joyful Spirit can keep you young (senior citizens, take note) and could even let you live longer. Don't forget to laugh, he advised, no matter how old you are, and don't let grumpiness take over your life. A happy heart and a cheerful mind is good medicine at any age, and it pleases God to see his children joyful, preacher Osteen added. Thankfully there's been much laughter in the Andersen household in the many years of our lives together, and I'd like to share some of the simple things that contributed to that laughter. Husband Herb's parents were born in Norway and the family name Andersen (ending with "sen") is more typical there and in Denmark (Hans Christian Andersen) than the "son" ending which is how most people automatically spell Anderson. A short time ago my daughter-in-law's mother wanted to reach my husband
to ask him a question about a computer problem. She looked in the telephone book for our number under the proper spelling of our name but couldn't find us. When she asked her daughter if we were listed in the phone book, the daughter asked her mother if she tried looking under “o-n," to which the mother replied, "Oh, I didn't know his name was Owen.” We all got a laugh out of that.
Another silly laugh producer came about because I often walk around the house in socks or stockings. My husband is always asking me why I don't just put on slippers. I told him the socks or stockings tell me if there is anything like a crumb or a grain of something on the floor that needs to be picked up. Cute Scandinavian that he is, he facetiously asked "In what language do they tell you that, in Feetish?".
Then there was the incident in the supermarket when we were adding a bottle of wine to our groceries. Evidently the clerks have to be sure they are not selling alcohol to a minor, so they're required to post the buyer's age on the purchase receipt. A little while back they actually asked for your birth date, but it seems the practice later changed to just having the clerk use any date he or she chose in calculation of a customer's age. A lot of people probably don't even look to see what date was chosen, but just for the fun of it, I do. When a date makes me much younger than I am, that's fine with me. But one time in 2008 a very young clerk posted my birth year as 1908. Dear husband thought that was hysterical. Evidently the clerk saw me as 100 years old, but even though I didn't think it was so funny, I had to laugh as I attributed the clerk's calculation to his youth. Anyone over 50 looks ancient to the young.
Then there's our chicken story. Whenever I roasted a whole chicken I always ended up eating the wings because neither my husband nor the kids thought there was enough meat on them to bother with and I didn't want anything to go to waste. Visiting some friends for dinner one day, I noticed that they roasted a good-sized chicken and I thought I'd finally get to eat some of the white meat for a change. Then I heard my husband tell the hostess,"Save the wings for Terri; that's the part of a chicken she likes best." That story got a lot of mileage in our house.
To go back a little farther in time, the company I worked for was sending a few of us secretaries to a seminar entitled "Humor in the Workplace.” The speaker had us smiling or laughing out loud many times during the presentation. When she was finished she asked us all to randomly հuց at least three people before we left the seminar. Everyone was in high spirits and hugging everyone around them. When I went to hug a woman standing by herself she backed up and seriously said, "I already hugged three people." I couldn't help but wonder if she brought any humor back to her workplace.

(Article was online at carynews.com)

Keeping promise for better or worse

Senior Moments
Terri Andersen
What does it take to keep a promise like “till death do us part”?
Husband Herb and I recently celebrated our 54th wedding anniversary. When a couple celebrates more than 50 years of marriage, they're often asked what contributed to the longevity of their union. Do outsiders think everything was perfect all the time, the couple was completely in tune with each other and never had a disagreement? Maybe there are such couples somewhere in the world, but none that I know of. A common factor in a marriage is that not long after the honeymoon many couples find they are the complete opposites of each other. A decidedly frugal person could wind up with a big spender (not usually seen as a problem before marriage), or a “neat nik” could wind up with a person who doesn’t think sloppy or disorganized is a sin (think “The Odd Couple” for example). That could be a problem or it could be a way of seeing another person's viewpoint. In our case, there were times when money was the bone of contention in an otherwise happy marriage. Herb sees so many things he wants to buy, without even looking at the price tag, while the first thing I look at is the price tag, and I make sure I check out the “clearance” rack. Obviously I’m the frugal one, most likely choosing an item I have a coupon for in the supermarket. He is the one who thinks nothing of buying the more expensive item, coupon or not (like $4.50 for a half pound of cheese dip). I would have chosen an item that costs less but in this case I gave in and I have to admit the dip was delicious. (We're still learning to accept each other as we are.) Knowing what upsets a partner and what doesn’t, and sincerely making an effort to keep things going as smoothly as possible helps. But no matter how terrific a union seems to be, there are bound to be times when one partner isn't too happy with the other. That feeling usually passes after a while, but trouble comes when no time is allowed for contemplation or forgiveness. Granted, some marriages have more “worse” than “better" in them - like affairs or physical abuse, for example — and staying together may not be an option, but how many couples react on the impulse of hurt feelings and quickly steer toward a divorce without giving themselves time to sort things out? Did a couple who stays married “till death do them part” never even have such thoughts? Guess what? When the money situation looked like a possible problem, the thought of separating crossed my mind a few times in 54 years, but when I asked myself if I’d be better off alone, I knew I couldn't do that to our children. They were so glad we were still together, since the parents of so many of their classmates were divorced. I had to admit that's not what I wanted. I knew Herb and I still loved each other, maybe not with the passion of our younger days, but by the way we care about each other in everyday life. Going to church together every week is another marriage unifier. - By now I know Herb's shortcomings and he knows mine, but managing to find something to laugh about, which happens a lot with us, has always cleared the air. There are times when he thinks I could use a hearing aid and I think he could use one, so the word “what?” pops up a lot, but when one of us repeats what we thought the other one said, we usually burst out laughing. Example: One day I told Herb our son John called to tell us he had a whole week off. Herb's response? “What's a holy cough?” Later Herb told me to give our son Bill a call. I thought he said something about an umbilical cord. (If he didn't try to tell me something when the TV is on or I'm looking for something in the refrigerator, there wouldn't be any problem.) All in all, being married for 54 years and raising five terrific kids who gifted us with five marvelous grandchildren is something we both feel blessed to have experienced.
If anyone wants to know how we really did it, I think the advice my mother gave us on our wedding day was a big help. It was short and sweet. All she said was, “Be kind to each other.”

Will today's economy affect Santa's generosity?

Senior Moments
Terri Andersen
The department stores are worried that business will not be as good this Christmas as it’s been in previous years. Parents are wondering how they'll manage to get their children all the gifts they'd like to get, and the country in general is getting in debt so high, one can't imagine how it will ever be resolved. The words recession and depression bring old timers' memories of what life was like in the 1930s and '40s. As someone who was born in that time period, I remember how every cent spent had to be carefully considered, how we did without anything that wasn't absolutely necessary, and how we still managed to celebrate Christmas with the joy of what the day represented, namely, the birth of Jesus, the savior of the world. I don’t know if Santa Claus was as popular then as he is today, but he was definitely not a part of our celebration. In the small Brooklyn, N.Y. apartment my family occupied in that time period, we managed to stretch the kitchen/dining area into the living room so that our aunt, uncle and cousins could join us for a dinner that my mother planned and saved for since the beginning of the month. A 20-pound turkey, which had to be ordered in advance, plus homemade stuffing and gravy, sweet potatoes and homemade cranberry sauce were the order of the day after everyone attended church in the morning. There were no Christmas tree, no gifts and no Santa Claus, but it didn't matter because just being together with family, playing a few board  games and enjoying their company seemed to be enough. After I was married and had children of my own I realized the times had changed dramatically. A flood of TV commercials made kids aware of all the toys that were available, and Santa got all the credit for whatever gift they found under the Christmas tree. Someplace along the way, I resented that. After my husband and I carefully budgeted what gifts we could afford, little by little we let the
kids know we were involved in the process. Not that they ever all that some of their friends got on Christmas, but we didn't believe in going overboard just to satisfy their every whim. By the time the fifth child was born into our family, we let it be known that no one was to expect any more than three gifts each, and the world didn't collapse when they didn't get everything they hoped for. In fact, I think it made them less greedy and encouraged them to figure out how to get for themselves what they really wanted. Each of our children, when in their teens, managed to do small jobs like lawn mowing, snow shoveling or babysitting to earn a few dollars, and I think they were more appreciative and careful of a bike or a gadget they paid for themselves. As the members of our family grew up, Christmas became a lot more expensive due to inflation, spouses and grandchildren. By then we had a house of our own in Connecticut and that was where all the relatives gathered for the holiday. Rather than supply a gift for everyone, we decided to go another route to be sure everyone got something for Christmas without anyone's budget getting depleted. At our Thanksgiving get togethers we put all the family members' names on separate pieces of paper, put them all in a hat, and everyone picked a name without looking. That's who they would buy a Christmas present for. Then we got together again on Christmas Eve for a Norwegian tradition of open sandwiches and cookies, after which everyone opened their gift. On Christmas morning the grown-up family members followed their traditional celebration in their own homes, and that seemed to work for everyone. These days if anyone volunteers to make Christmas day dinner later in the afternoon, there's always at least a few who very cheerfully accept the invitation. Knowing that an earlier generation survived a serious depression should let today’s generation know that regarding what is happening in our country now, “this too shall pass,” and the future may be better than it was before — hopefully economically, environmentally and energy-wise. So here's wishing everyone a merry Christmas and a happy New Year, in spite of the problems we're facing right now.

Politics and religion: surefire controversy

Senior Moments
Terri Andersen
Why is it so upsetting for some people to hear the word “God” mentioned? Everyone in this world has a belief system of one form or another. Usually we associate belief with a supernatural being who has our best interests at heart and we worship that being as we see fit. Atheists deny there is any such being and fight against it as much as they can, although fighting against anything actually admits that it exists. Normally this is not a subject I would write about, because I believe everyone has a right to their own belief. But when it comes to politics and our country being so engrossed in that right now, it surprises me that so much attention is paid to whatever is said by one party or another that might relate to religion of any kind. (In all the years I’ve been alive I never saw so much campaigning) Earlier in this exceptionally long campaign year there was a worry in some people’s minds that Senator Obama might be a Muslim, but the Senator clearly proclaimed that he’s been a Christian for over twenty years and that he believes in Jesus Christ. Fine. If he believes in Jesus as the son of God, most likely it would follow that he believes in God the Father. Yet when Republican Vice President nominee Sarah Palin stated in one of her appearances that she hoped to follow God’s plan for our country, she was criticized by Obama, and probably many others, who were afraid that she would let religion have an impact on her decisions. Would that be so terrible? Would a God who loves us dearly steer us in the wrong direction? Incidentally, to learn something about Muslims I looked the word up in my encyclopedia and found that Muslim means “one who submits to God,” which only goes to show that the religion itself is not the reason some people become terrorists. It’s the people who don’t follow their religion who become terrorists. This reminds me of the time when John F. Kennedy was running for President of the United States. Because he was a Catholic, many people thought electing him would result in the Pope ruling our country, which was an unnecessary worry because that never happened. Today, Kennedy is rated as one of our best Presidents and many people wish his term wouldn’t have been cut so short by assassination. Another one of the big concerns these days is the Ten Commandments. Even thought this country was founded on those principles, and even though those commandments are engraved on doors and walls in many of our nation’s capital buildings, and the Senate starts its day with prayer, there are all kinds of protests that the commandments should be removed to honor the “separation of church and state” that many citizens see as something the First Amendment to our Constitution calls for. Actually, those people got that wrong. The Constitution does not use the words “separation of church and state” per se. What it actually calls for is not forcing any particular religion on the people, but to allow its citizens freedom to choose whichever religion gives them the spiritual rejuvenation they seek. “Separation of church and state” is traced to a letter written by Thomas Jefferson in 1802 paraphrasing the First Amendment.
To digress from politics and the religion conflict, I’d like to quote some of the information I’ve read, stating that a big factor in health and longevity is a person’s religion and/or spirituality. Scientific research has actually shown religion to be good for the body and soul. A book I have that “unleashes your body’s healing power” (by the editors of FC&A Medical Publishing) states that faith “helps you thrive after surgery, heals your heart, overcomes high blood pressure” and much more. Be aware that “faith is a benefit to your health” and “more things are wrought by prayer than men dream of.”
I’m sure the 2008 November election will be a close one and my prayer is “may the team that is best for our country win”. Amen.

What the sound of music does for me

Senior Moments
Terri Andersen
Music has always been an important part of my life. For the first 18 years of my existence my father owned  a small music store in Brooklyn, N.Y. By the time I was 11 or 12 years old most of my after school hours were spent there, often as the sales clerk but, being surrounded by a piano and lots of piano music, when business was slow I used whatever I was taught in music class to teach myself how to play the piano. The first thing they taught us about music in school was that there are seven notes (A,B,C,D,E,F,G), and where each note is on the staff: EGBDF (Every Good Boy Does Fine) on the five ascending lines and FACE in the ascending spaces between the lines. The next thing to learn was where those notes were on the  piano, using the seven-key sequence from one end of the keyboard to the other. By the time I was 14 or 15 years old I managed to read enough music to actually play a melody that someone else wrote (a thrilling accomplishment to me). What has always amazed me, though, is that with only seven notes in a scale, So many different combinations of those notes can be used to create thousands of different melodies. Even more amazing is that one composition can be harmoniously arranged for all the varied instruments in an Orchestra. When I think of all the music composed by Mozart and Chopin, two of my favorites, I can't help but be impressed by the variety they came up with and, more importantly, the way their music can elevate my Soul. Until just recently I saw music mainly as enjoyable entertainment. Then I saw an article in Prevention magazine that called music "a sonic health boost", crediting music with easing pain, fighting disease, reducing stress, lowering blood pressure and more. It also said there are certified music therapists who treat different health conditions with positive results. Years ago, the popular quote was “Music soothes the savage breast" (some people used the word “beast” rather than “breast"). From my own experience I do know that music has an effect on our moods. No matter how low I might be feeling, let me hear a polka and my feet can't sit still. The Frankie Yankovic Polka Band that played in Cary's Page-Walker Memorial Garden in May made me want to get up and dance on the lawn in front of a bunch of strangers, but at my age I felt I'd be making a fool of myself. I have to remind myself I'm not in my 20s anymore, when I could polka for hours and love every minute, without aching thighs or running out of breath. The first time I heard the Yankovic band was when it was scheduled for a St. Patrick's Day celebration at St. Michael the Archangel Catholic Church in Cary. Polkas for St. Patrick's Day? I had to see what that was all about and was pleasantly surprised to hear the band play Irish songs we could all sing, in addition to polkas and slow music for anyone who wanted to dance. I also loved hearing the Raleigh Concert Band that played in Raleigh's Fred Fletcher Park in July. They played old favorites, marches, even some opera music, and they were wonderful to listen to. Part of the first concert I attended was rained out during the last part of their performance, but their next concert was a Leroy Anderson tribute and it brought back so many memories of the music I loved in the 1950s and '60s. Since I don't drive, I'm tickled pink that my neighbor across the street, who plays the French horn in the Raleigh Concert Band, manages to find room in her car for me. In the last concert I attended I was sitting right in front of the trombone section and was surprised to hear such pleasant sounds of melody and harmony coming from trombones. When I was in high school I played the trombone in the school orchestra and never got past the two or three bass notes I played. I never mastered the piano enough to play it in the school orchestra and there were plenty of girls who did, but nobody played trombone so they gave me a few lessons and that was my instrument until graduation. The piano my husband bought me almost 40 years ago is my favorite possession even though I’m still an amateur. Having music in the house is something I'll always love — three of our five children taught themselves to play, too.

Which do you focus on, your ups or your downs?

Senior Moments
Terri Andersen
I just ran across a quote I saved a long time ago:
“The negative thinker tends to draw back to himself negative results, while the positive thinker activates the world around him positively.”
The author was Norman Vincent Peale and I remember telling myself he's right, the way we think does have an influence on the path our life takes. Does that mean I never have negative thoughts? No. I try to avoid them, but negative thoughts do have a way of creeping into our heads without us even realizing it, so it's up tò us to fight them with positives. I know I've gotten pretty bent out of shape over all the new technology I can't seem to catch up with, and the fact that old age is creeping up on me much faster than I’d like, but when I think of the beauty of nature that surrounds me and the joys of having a family that I’ve been blessed with, I can't help but feel positively grateful. Scholars say the universe gives back to us what we give to the universe: If we're generous and grateful, we will be rewarded with more to be grateful for, but if we're mean and selfish, peace and happiness will elude us. - It's often been said, if you want to be happy, do what it takes to make someone else happy, too. Giving our ego a back seat and paying attention to what others need is a step in the right direction, be it by volunteering time or giving money. There may be times when the good we do and giving our best to the world might not be appreciated, but we shouldn't let that bother us. Mother Teresa advocated that we do good and give our best to the world anyway, and she was honored all over the world. - I've known people who claimed there were no positives in their life; all they focused on were what was wrong and what they didn't have, as opposed to what was right in their life and what they did have. They didn't acknowledge the fact that their body had no serious ailments, they had a house to live in and food on the table. All they saw was what someone else had that they didn't, like a bigger house or a fancier car, but they weren't interested in doing what it takes to have what they wanted. What's the one thing anyone with a broken arm or leg would want most? Healing of that arm or leg, right? Yet if nothing is broken, we tend to take for granted all of our parts that are working just fine, For anyone who doesn't think that's so special, consider former “Superman” Christopher Reeve and what he had to go through after the accident that paralyzed him. In spite of his acknowledging that the mind and spirit transcend the body, in a Reader's Digest interview he admitted that sometimes it bothered him when people took their ability to move for granted. Best selling author Wayne Dyer, who often appears on public television, emphasizes the fact that our thoughts have a big influence on what happens in our lives. According to Dyer, if we say we can't be happy unless we have this or that, we're not allowing happiness into our lives and it will elude us as long as we think that way. He also tells us that holding a grudge and harboring hate or resentment does more internal harm to the hater than to the one being hated, and when we learn to forgive we do ourselves a favor." Another piece of advice from Dyer is that if we pursue a goal and believe we can achieve it, we put ourselves - in a frame of mind that brings good vibrations into our field of energy. British essayist, novelist and poet Ꮐ. K. Chesterton put it in simpler words: “If you think wrong, you go wrong.” - What we have to remember is that our most important power is the power of choice. We can choose the negative or we can choose the positive, We can choose to give instead of take, and choose to see the best in people instead of the worst. -  A quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln says "A man can be as happy as he makes up his mind to be." The way I see it is that everyone has ups and downs in their life, and our happiness or unhappiness depends on which we choose to focus on, the ups or the downs.

Avoid being a victim

Senior Moments
Terri Andersen
With identity theft the fastest growing crime in this country, and senior citizens considered a vulnerable target, the SearStone retirement community developers decided to host an identity theft prevention session for seniors on April 17 at the Prestonwood Country Club. Officer Brian Austin, community service coordinator of the Cary Police Department, gave his audience the following helpful hints to avoid being a victim of ID theft. - - 1) Don't give any information to people who identify themselves, either on the phone or by e-mail, as legitimate banks or credit-card companies you deal with, who claim they want to update their records of your accounts. Instead, call your bank or credit-card company direct to verify if information is needed. If not, call the police department to report the incident. 2) Beware of e-mail “phishing.” That's another scam that looks official from a bank or company you deal with. If they ask you to click on a blue link, don't do it. If you click on the link they ask you to, they can get their own card with your identity sent to their address and you won't know about it until you get a call from a collection agency for a charge you never made. So never give any information to an unsolicited e-mail or phone call. 3) Austin also advised us not to carry our Social Security card in our purse or wallet in case it gets stolen, and to shred any documents with personal information or blank checks that come in the mail. He suggested shredding often so you don’t end up with a big accumulation. Austin can be reached at brianaustin@townofcary.org. Next Caroline Farmer, deputy director of the N.C. Department of Justice's Victims Unit, had all kinds of tips to avoid being an identity-theft victim. - 1) She also stressed shredding anything we're discarding that contains personal or account information that would let a thief steal our identity, and she invited us to SearStone's free Shredder Day on April 25  * 2) The best way to find out if anyone is using your information without your knowledge is to get your credit report from all three credit bureaus every year We're allowed one free report a year. -If we have reason to believe someone is using our personal information without our approval, there's a new consumer right provided by North Carolina law that allows us to place a security freeze on our credit reports by notifying a credit bureau to block anyone from opening new accounts or getting credit in our name. The only drawback is that if you need to get a loan, a new credit card or apply for a job, you would need to lift the freeze temporarily or remove it permanently by notifying the credit bureau. Another tip from Farmer: If the credit bureau asks for your personal information, respond from a wired phone, not a cellphone or a wireless phone. 4) If you do experience ID theft, call the Attorney General's office at (877) 566-7226 or the local police department to file a report. That will allow you to file an affidavit for protection to clear your name. 5) Rather than carry your original Medicare card with your Social Security number on it in your wallet or purse, memorize the number and make a copy of the card for your wallet, with the SSN blocked out. Be aware that you don't have to give your number to everyone who asks for it. Most times it's not necessary. 6) When making out a check, sign your name in a certain way so you'd know if someone else is trying to cash a check of yours. Also, don't put your driver's license number on your checks. If blank “convenience” checks come in the mail, call to cancel them, since unlocked mailboxes by the road can be unsafe. If you do online banking, make sure your Spyware and firewall protection is up to date. 7) At an ATM make sure no one is near you. Someone with a cellphone can zoom in and take a picture of the card in your hand or your PIN number. 8) A credit card offers more consumer protection than a debit card because a thief can wipe out your account with a debit card before you're aware of it. " The session was very informative and a definite plus was that questions were accepted and answered.

The Cary News-We followed the boys here

We followed the boys here
 As new residents of Cary (a little over a year ago), my husband Herb and I decided to visit the Cary Senior Center last November to see if we could meet other senior citizens and possibly find some kindred souls who could tell us a little about Cary. The first activity was the Veterans Day Luncheon, since Herb was a U.S. Marine who served in Korea, and veterans from any war seem to have an affinity for other vets who experienced what they did. The luncheon was great and we got to meet the mayor, who asked where we were from and what motivated us to move to Cary. Before we could answer, he added that most parents come to Cary to be near their kids, who moved here for employment purposes, and we smiled because that was exactly what brought us here. Over the last 10 years, our four boys moved to North Carolina, one at a time, because the job market was better here than it was in Connecticut. The first son settled in Chapel Hill, two now live in Raleigh and one in Apex, Herb and I considered relocating south also when we realized there was no family left in Connecticut, but we weren't sure we wanted to leave a place where : we spent the last 36 years of our lives. However, our boys convinced us to sell the house because they felt we didn't need such a big place anymore and they didn't want to worry about us shoveling snow and getting through the cold New England winters. So they house hunted in this area until they found what they saw as the perfect house for us in Cary (close to each of them yet distant enough for everyone to have their space). Believe it or not, we bought the house sight unseen (other than pictures on a Web site) and couldn't believe how everything worked out so well. The boys found us a lawyer in Cary to handle the paperwork, then supplied us with a refrigerator, washer and dryer, since we left all our appliances for the couple who bought our house. One of the boys and his girlfriend even came up to Connecticut by plane to drive us down here in our car after the movers put our furniture into a moving van. I’m happy to say, we love the house, love being close to our kids, and are very impressed with the town of Cary. It has a charm all its own, is well kept, and is well equipped with stores that enable us to buy anything we could possibly need. I might add that we've found a lot to buy since we've moved here, so parents relocating to be near their kids must be good for Cary's economy. There are a few downsides, though. When we saw Cary on the map, we thought we were moving to a small town with maybe twenty or thirty thousand people, and were overwhelmed to find it has a population of over 110,000, which of course makes for a lot of traffic. I don't drive, so I have to depend on my husband for transportation. While he loves those green arrow signs at intersections, and the signs that announce major intersections coming up, I find all that traffic pedestrian-unfriendly when I try to walk anyplace and have to cross a parkway or major road. Another downside was trying to find a doctor who would accept new Medicare patients. It took us a whole year to finally find one. On the whole though, we're glad we made the decision to move here.
Terri Andersen lives in Cary and enjoys writing about issues related to seniors. -

After moving to a new state, we 'embrace the place where we are'

Spectrum
Maturity
Friday, April 7, 2006
After moving to a new state, we ‘embrace the place we are'
My father used to say, “If I can't have what I want, I want what I have.” When I was young I didn't understand what that meant. It sounded like he was settling for less than what he really wanted. As I got older, the saying started making sense to me, and I found myself understanding it to mean that you need to look for the good side of what you have instead of complaining about what you don't have. Or as my favorite preacher, Joel Osteen, advises, “Embrace the place where you are.” When my husband and I decided to move from our home in New Milford — a town we truly loved—not long ago, I couldn't imagine being as happy anyplace else as we were there. But little by little we're noticing all the joy we're getting out of our new environment in North Carolina . The first joy came from living in a house that needed nothing fixed. Then there was the weather. We never expected to be living in an area where we didn't need winter coats or boots the entire winter. There were days in December, January and February when the temperature was in the 50s or 60s. In March we even had some 70- and 80– degree days. As pretty as Snow made the landscape in New Milford, it was awfully nice this winter not to have to worry about how to get the car out of the driveway or bout hurting ourselves shoveling snow. (Having a garage for he first time in over 50 years of marriage is another plus.) When we bought the house we're now in, we had no idea what kind of plantings surrounded it, but in the last month or two, we were gifted to see a beautiful camellia tree in full bloom outside our kitchen window, daffodils all around our mailbox, and even a magnolia tree on our front lawn. This week, we realized that all the bushes surrounding the very tall pine trees in front and back of the house are actually azaleas. Loads of them in white, light pink and dark pink, are presently in the process of blooming. (My cup runneth over with joy!) One morning I had another surprise. When I woke up and faced the window a short space away from my bed, I was startled to see a bright red glow between the bottom two slats of the wooden blind. My first thought was a panic that something outside was on fire. As I “sprang from my bed” to get a closer look at what was happening, “what to my wondering eyes should appear", but a glorious sunrise. I stood by the window in awe as the bright red color spread itself into pinks and golds and tinted any clouds in the vicinity with shades of salmon interspersing the blue sky. In our old house, my husband and I used to love the amazing sunsets we saw from our windows facing west — I often ran outside to photograph them — and we knew that was something we would miss if we didn't see Sunsets in our new home. Having sunrises to view now is another example of “if we can't have what we want, we want what we have.” - Allow me to give just one more example: It has to do with proving that where there's a will, there's a way. I mentioned before that our new home is smaller than our old one, which is good because there's less to take care of, but it's not so good if one wants to invite 12 people to dinner, which I did to celebrate my husband's birthday and one of our sons' birthday on a Sunday between both those two dates. After I already invited everyone for pot roast dinner (to be cooked in my trusty old red pot with one handle missing) I wondered how to fit 12 people at a table that seats only six and is in a small area off the kitchen. Putting ingenuity into practice, I remembered that we had a small patio table on the back porch and a card table and chairs in the garage, so those were set up in the family room adjoining the official dining area, and it was like we had a little bistro restaurant where everyone could talk to each other, pass the salt or butter, and enjoy camaraderie with the whole family.  As far as the town itself goes, I have to admit that the people who set up the town of New Milford did a marvelous job of centralizing all the important places in which a person has to do business. In New Milford the post office, banks, library, pharmacy, Senior Center, lawyers, churches, restaurants and other stores can all be reached from one parking area. In our new town, there are many, many shopping centers, but the post office, most banks and professionals like doctors and lawyers are in separate areas that need extra driving. Worse yet, we found that most doctors in our new town are not accepting Medicare patients. Until now, I thought all physicians had to accept it, but the excuse seems to be “no new Medicare patients.” One other thing: I'd like to warn people who are thinking of moving to another state to check if their medical insurance will be affected by the move. We had the shock of learning out-of-state can result in not so pleasant changes as far as coverage is concerned. (Here's a case where my father's saying isn't so easy to accept, but I guess there are exceptions to every rule, right?) Just being with our family, though, is worth whatever it takes.
Terri Andersen, who lived in New Milford for 36 years before relocating to North Carolina a few months ago, has been a regular columnist in the "Spectrum Maturity” section of The Greater New Milford Spectrum the past several years.

What will the new year bring into our lives?

Spectrum
Maturity
Terri Andersen
What will the new year bring into our lives?
Here it is, another new year, and so many of us wonder where last year's time went. At least that's the impression I get from the people who wrote notes in their Christmas cards to “I can't believe another year has passed,” some said. “Where did the time go?" others asked. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, the passage of time can be arduously long or extremely short, depending to what's going on in our life at the moment. Someone said an example of Einsteins theory would be the difference between five minutes sitting on a hot stove and five minutes spent with someone you love. I know that when I had a bad cold that lasted two weeks in December, I felt like I'd been sick for such a long time there must be something seriously wrong. Then when the cold finally went away and I got into getting ready for Christmas, two weeks didn't feel like a long time at all. In fact, it felt like too short a time to get everything done. I have to admit that feeling miserable for two weeks made me appreciate feeling fine again when my cold was gone. I realized I had pretty much taken good health for granted most of the time. I think getting older and realizing that the body gets more fragile as we age has made me more appreciative of small favors, like being able to sidestep a trip on the stairs by grabbing the railing just in time to avoid a fall that possibly could have resulted in a broken bone. Now, every time I almost fall but don't, I say “thank you" to whatever source prevented me from having a bad fall. Other “almost” incidents also make me feel grateful. Just the other day I was cracking an egg into a bowl and somehow my hand bumped into the bowl and almost knocked it off the counter top. Luckily, I righted the dish before its contents could fall to the floor and land inside the heating grate next to the counter. Imagining what an odor that might have caused if I couldn't get into the grate to clean it. I said my little “thank you" for that, too. Then there are times when I don't feel grateful at all, like when everything that was familiar is taken over by technology to “make things easier for us" — and all it does is confuse me and make everything more complicated, especially anything to do with cell phones, cameras and computers. [My husband gave me a digital movie camera for my birthday last year, but no matter how hard I try to study the manual, I just can't seem to operate that camera.] I guess what I'm trying to say is that I miss the way things were when I understood everything and felt reasonably smart. Lately I feel so behind in technology that too much seems to be beyond my comprehension. I don't particularly like that feeling and don't know what to expect in 2006. Like most years, 2005 was wonderful for some people and horrible for others, especially the people who faced devastation in the hurricanes and landslides, and the loss of jobs, homes and lives. Yet so much compassion was displayed by so many people that we can't say it was a totally terrible year. What I'd like to see in 2006 is what the Spectrum staff hoped for in their first edition of this new year — namely, world peace, greater tolerance of differences in people at home and abroad, people reaching out to help others, plus quality progress in New Milford's educational and economic programs. _
I'd also like to see what preacher Joel Osteen wrote about in the January issue of Guideposts. He urged that we choose happiness by concentrating on what's good in our lives instead of what's wrong; by being true to who we are and not trying to be what we're not; by not giving up when things seem hopeless but using positive words and uplifting quotes that can work miracles; and by doing more giving than taking. [Helping someone else in need is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.] For the New Milford Senior Center, 2006 started off with it: much-loved program director, Catherine Bachrach, retiring at the end of January, and I’m sure all the seniors who frequent the center wish that weren't so. Catherine was the quintessential cheerer-upper for all of us who know her. She made everyone feel special and welcomed at the center, never seemed to lose her capacity for cheeriness, and did a wonderful job in choosing programs for seniors to enjoy. If someone was feeling out of sorts, she provided a sympathetic ear and did her best to soothe whatever was bothering them. A true gem, Catherine will be sorely missed. * Hopefully, 2006 will be a year that people remember for mostly good things happening.
Terri Andersen, who lived in New Milford for 36 years and has been a regular columnist in the “Spectrum Maturity" section of The Greater New Milford Spectrum the past several years, recently moved to North Carolina.

Former resident reflects on change following move to North Carolina

Spectrum
 Friday, December 2, 2005
Former resident reflects on change following move to North Carolina
A lot of people seemed surprised when my husband and I decided to move to North Carolina. They wondered why we would take on such a big change at this senior citizen stage of our lives. Some people even came right out and told us not to do it. They didn't think moving just to be nearer our children and grandchildren was enough reason to disturb our roots, since younger people have a tendency to move when jobs or other circumstances demand it, they said. I can't say I fault them in their opinion because until a few months ago Herb and I felt the same way. Why rock the boat when the sailing is comfortable as is? But the fact that we missed the kids and that all five of them kept urging us to move closer to them made us at least consider the idea. The fact that they even found a house for us to buy clinched our decision to take the giant step we did. What's nice is that the people we were closest to in New Milford are still in touch with us and keep us up to date on what's going on, either by phone or by sending clippings from the local papers. We were sorry to hear about the Thrift Mart's problems and hope their move to a new location will be a big success. Also, I hate the thought of missing the AARP Christmas party at the Holiday Restaurant this year. I wish there were a way to get from one place to another like they do in the Star Trek shows (“Beam me up to New Milford, Scotty"). Obviously we're not that technologically advanced yet, but if we were, you can bet I'd be there. As sad as it was to leave the home and the people we grew attached to in New Milford, it was also hard to downsize years of accumulations. Then there were all the telephone calls to cancel local services and sign up for new ones, plus notifying insurance people, banks and anyone else one deals with, of the change of address. Just the frustration of getting past the automated telephone systems used these days is enough to frazzle the nerves when trying to transact any kind of business. Now that we're in our new house, we realize it's what we need. It has only one flight of stairs instead of three and only 12 windows instead of 33, and it's a much newer house than the one we were in before, making housework a lot easier. Besides that, we see the kids often now, and whenever some chore needs doing (like heavy objects lifted or lawn mowing, for instance), one or two of the boys show up to take care of it for us. During Hurricane Wilma's onslaught, our daughter and her family decided to be on the safe side by evacuating from where they live in Florida and coming to our house for a few days. We were delighted to see them and to have them see our new home. We feel we're adjusting to our move, even though there are still some things that will take getting used to, like the fact that over 100,000 residents live in the “small town” we thought we were moving to, and there are four- to six-lane roads to maneuver to get to any of the numerous shopping centers for supermarkets or any other place with which we need to do business. Thank goodness the roads and all the surrounding greenery are well taken care of and the traffic signals are well-organized, so Herb doesn't mind doing the driving. As for change in general, it's something everyone has to deal with whether staying in one place or moving to another. I have a friend in New Milford who still lives in the house where she was born, yet she's seen many changes over the years. Her quiet street has become a busy thoroughfare, and some of her property had to be sacrificed for widening of the street. She saw the town change from a place where everyone knew everyone else to a place where today she might go to the supermarket or to the Village Green and not see a familiar face. Seeing the demise of the local M&B IGA was also sad for her, although she realizes that nothing stays the same forever, and progress must go on. If the house or town we live in is not changed, just about everything else in our life is. Advances in technology alone sometimes make us feel that we can never keep up with all the new ways of dealing with everyday life. As we get older, our bodies change and don't respond or cooperate the way they once did, and there's not much we can do about it. Then there are the changes that take away our independence, like having to give up driving a car, or having to go to a nursing home. All change — whether it's by choice or not — takes a lot of adjustment, and the best we can do is to look for the positive side of it.  We have a Norman Vincent Peale magnet on our refrigerator that reads: “The secret of life isn't what happens to you but what you do with what happens to you.” -
A longtime New Milford resident, Terri Andersen moved from New Milford to North Carolina this fall. –