Written by Karen edited by Terri Andersen

HE SAW THE LIGHT
Written by Karen Grim Edited by Terri Andersen (I think I wrote it in 1998)
The doctor told my father-in-law he had one week to two months to live. The whole family was in shock, since my father-in-law had been diagnosed with cancer twice before, at age 61 and again at 72, and had come through the treatments with flying colors. We were blessed with 20 years that might not have been. Now he was 81 years old and had cancer all over his body, and this time it didn't look like he was going to make it. Since my in-laws lived on Long Island in New York, and we lived in Connecticut, it was about a two-hour drive to visit him, but my husband had always been very close to his father and we made the trip to see him immediately. We stayed at their house the whole weekend and watched and prayed with my husband's mother, three sisters, and two brothers. When Monday came and my husband Jim had to go back to work, we reluctantly left to go back to Connecticut, wondering how soon we might be called back if anything happened. My father-in-law’s wish was to die at home with his family around him and we all wanted to be there for him. I wanted to be there because I loved and respected my father-in-law very much, but I have to admit I was scared to watch someone die. I had never experienced that before and didn't know how I'd react. Would I cry? Would I faint? Would I have nightmares after that? I wondered too how this would affect our 2-1/2 year old daughter, but she seemed to take it all in stride survived the first week, and we went back to L.I. the next five weekends to pray and hold vigil again. Every week it was obvious he was progressively getting worse. He wasn't eating or drinking very much and by the last week he was so weak he could barely move.  On Monday, July 27, when we were all praying the rosary around his bed, like we did many times a day, he asked us to turn out the light. It was daytime so we closed all the shades and turned off any lights that were on. He kept saying "Turn off the light. The Alley. Turn off the Alley.” We didn't know what he meant. There was no light whatsoever in the room, and we wondered if he was Seeing the tunnel and light people with near death experiences talked about. He was getting angry with us and again said, “Turn out the light. The Alley.” When we asked him “Where do you see the light?” he said, "Over there.” He stretched out his bony arm and pointed to the top corner of the room and said again "Over there.” There was no light there that we could see, but evidently he was seeing a light, so one of Jim's brothers asked his father if he wanted to go to it. He answered he couldn't get in the gates because he wasn't ready yet. My mother-in-law then called a family friend who was a priest and asked him to come over. He came and read some Bible passages, but he said he didn't think my father-in-law was ready to go yet. During this time I felt something like a hand with three fingers touching me on my back. I turned around to see who was touching me, but no one was there. No one was even close to me. Then I felt a flutter and the feeling was gone. For some reason I felt it was an angel telling me to move over, but that’s not something I would ever have thought of before. Later that night, my husband was on watch with his sister. At this point there were two people watching his father day and night. My husband was falling asleep in a chair when he felt a touch and a flutter on his arm. It startled him and he stood up to see what could have touched him. He thought maybe it was the wire he saw on the ground, but when he bent to pick it up, it was just a piece of thread. Nothing like what he felt on his arm. Later he told me about the incident and how it felt. Chills ran up my arms. I had not described to him what I felt earlier in the day, yet when I told and showed him what I felt, he said “that’s exactly how mine felt.” We didn't know how to explain it, but we both felt touched by something otherworldly. The next morning my daughter and I were still sleeping. It was about 7:30 a.m. on July 28, when I heard someone almost singing my name, "Karen,” and it woke me up. We were sleeping across the hall from my father-in-law's room. I thought they were calling me into the room, so I opened the door and looked across the hall but nobody was there. So I went back to sleep. Then about forty-five minutes later my sister-in-law came into the room and said “We think it's time.” We all gathered around my father-in-law's bed to say a final goodbye and saw him take his last breath. Then we all took turns kissing him goodbye. It was a sad and tearful time. What surprised me was the feeling I had that his dying was so beautiful. He died a happy man. Just before he died he said he couldn't be happier because he had his family all around him. Hearing him say that made all the trips we made to see him worthwhile. Then at the funeral I found out how much my father-in-law was loved by the community he lived in. He had been a volunteer fireman for 60 years, even a Fire Chief, so the department was a significant presence at his funeral. The firemen were all in uniform and there were three firetrucks in the funeral procession plus fire chiefs cars to drive all of the family to the cemetery. In the fire chiefs car we noticed L/Alley and R/Alley switches and we asked what they were for. We were told they were the alley lights, extremely bright lights to shine down alleyways to see what's going on during a fire. We all looked at each other with mouths wide open. That's what Dad was talking about when he saw the light, the brightest light imaginable The experience left me with a whole new attitude about dying. I now see it can be a beautiful experience and I'll always feel my father-in-law is our bright and shining light.