T'ai Chi or Hai Ti, the Seniors have it all

May 15, 1998
The New Milford Times
G O L D E N YEARS
T’ai Chi or Hai Ti, the Seniors have it all
BY TERRI ANDERSEN Contributing Writer
To prove to myself that I wasn’t going to vegetate once I retired, I decided to try some things I never tried before. After I finished the line dance class at the senior center awhile ago, I decided to enroll in the T’ai Chi class to see what that was all about. The first thing the instructor told us was that we had to breathe properly (from the stomach). Hmmm, I said to myself, this should be interesting. After breathing for over 60 years, I thought I was pretty good at that already, but I found that I had a few things to learn after all. As we did our first move, the instructor intoned “Inhale,” and just as I finished exhaling, he said, “Ex-hale.” I hurried up and took a quick inhale to catch up with everybody else’s exhale, but the instructor said that wasn’t necessary. It took a few tries for me to get the hang of it, but I did manage to breathe naturally when I did my movements. I think it was that “from your stomach” bit that threw me off in the beginning. The next thing to learn was balance and how to move gracefully. I thought I already knew that, too, considering how much dancing I did in my lifetime. Well, you guessed it, I had another surprise in store. When the instructor balanced on his left leg to do the “over the fence” move with his right leg, he was gracefulness personified. When I lifted my right leg the few inches necessary to do the move and tried to balance on the other leg, I was like a tightrope walker about to topple. And while the instructor's foot came down without a sound, mine came down with a loud thud, just quick enough to keep me from falling. After I went home the first week, determined to practice what I learned in class, I couldn’t remember a single thing other than “raise hands, lower hands,” and I was so disgusted with myself. But when I went back the following week, it turned out that everybody else in the class had forgotten, too, so our very patient instructor just went over it again until we “got it” (such a nice young man). One day after class, when a fellow student asked me if I was going to the high tea the senior center had scheduled for later in the week, with a dazed look I asked if that was another form of Chinese discipline. (After spending an hour on T’ai Chi, my mind automatically spelled High Tea as Hai Ti.) I guess I was disoriented (forgive me). Seriously, though, T'ai Chi is a beautiful experience when done correctly. Like everything else in life, it takes practice to get it right, and the teacher at the New Milford Senior Center is excellent. If you want to learn how to relax and benefit your mind as well as your body, you might want to look into T'ai Chi. (We even got some acupressure tips along the way.)

She enjoyed thought-provoking article? (On Forgetfulness-in case you forgot - ha ha)
To the Editor:
I enjoyed the thought-provoking article by Terri Andersen [in last week’s New Milford Times]. I do
hope she will appear in your paper often.
– T. Virginia Johnson New Milford

Don't be hard on yourself if forgetful

GOLDEN YEARS
May 8, 1998. The New Milford Times
Senior: Don’t be hard on yourself if forgetful
BY TERRI ANDERSEN Contributing Writer
I was visiting with some friends the other day, and the subject of age and memory came up. Everyone seemed to think that the mind just naturally deteriorates with age, and that memory loss is inevitable. Granted, age does take some toll on brain cells, but nowhere near what the average person thinks. Take the simple memory lapse of walking into a room to get something and then forgetting what it was you came into the room for. Do you think that’s age-related? There are a lot of people who do, but I think they’re wrong. I think that after a certain age, we’re just harder on ourselves than we ought to be. Watching my own children grow up, I’ve seen plenty of times when they forgot what they came into a room for, but did they even give it a second thought? Nope. They just went back to where they came from and realized right away what it was they needed if they wanted to continue whatever they interrupted themselves from doing. As we get older, if that happens to us, right away we think, “Uh-oh, I must be losing it. Sometimes I look at my brain as a computer that must be pretty fully loaded from all those years of storing information, and I wonder how much room there is for new data. But that doesn’t stop me from trying to squeeze more in, because I honestly think the brain is superior to any man-made device. - And I’m always amazed how that old information in the brain can be retrieved. When I can’t think of the name of someone or something, I go through the alphabet, and wouldn’t you know? My mind stops at the letter that triggers the name that’s been buried there someplace. Sometimes I wish I had a delete key to press when information I no longer need is using up valuable space. Take all the lyrics for songs like “Mairzy Doats and Dozy Doats” or “Three Little Fishies.” I really could use that space in my brain for more short-term memory. But speaking of short term memory, I think sometimes the reason we don’t remember something we heard recently is because we weren’t paying enough attention in the first place. (We didn’t input the data and put it on Save.) There are times when I still find myself saying, “I must be losing it” when I goof up, but then I remind myself that everybody goofs now and then, and  it’s not that big a deal. I guess what I want to say to “veterans of life” like myself is: Don't be so hard on yourselves. See the things you do well, take comfort in the fact that you know a lot more about life than those “youngsters” do, and take time out to do whatever it is you find enjoyment in. (And don’t lose the capacity to laugh at yourself every now and then.)

Is retirement the time to catch up on one's fun-to-do-list?

B10 The New Milford Times, New Milford, Conn., Friday April 25, 1997
GOLDEN YEARS
By Terri Andersen CONTRIBUTING WRITER
So, what’s it like to be a senior citizen? And how did I get to be one already? I remember the first time my husband and I were regarded as “seniors.” We were still in our 50s and had stopped at a chain restaurant for breakfast while we were on vacation. When the young (very young) waitress asked us if we’d like to see the senior citizen menu, we looked at each other in horror. Senior citizens? Us? But then we experienced what I guess you could call “mixed emotions.” We didn’t like the world acknowledging that we were getting old, but hey, we could get a discount on our meal. So we politely said, “Yes, please.” That was our first experience of this latest stage in our life, and by now we’ve come to terms with it. After all, graying hair and wrinkles are just as much a part of the living process as baby teeth, first steps, adolescence, and all those other steps that are a part of aging, which, if you think about it, really starts the minute we’re born into this world. We go from baby to toddler to student to employee, possibly to marriage, to parenthood and grand parenthood, and before we know it, we’ve become a senior citizen. Where did all the time go? How come that face in the mirror got so old: Where did all those wrinkles come from: How come that hair got so gray and lifeless? That’s not the real me. The real me is still young and full of life, still full of plans for things to do and places to see. Having just recently come into the stage of Social Security and retirement, I think senior citizenship takes a little adjustment. Being a mother and a working woman was a full-time job; there was very little time to spend on traveling, learning French, writing stories, painting pictures, playing the piano, reading books, sewing, etc., so all that was mostly relegated to “the future.” A few years ago I remember telling a friend that hopefully I’d get to do all those things in my next life, and her remark was, “I’ve heard of people putting things off but never that long!” So now I have the time to do all the things I want to do. Do I get to do them? As I said, I think retirement takes a little adjustment. Sometimes I don’t know where to begin. One day I say I’ll paint a picture today, but then I see the oven needs cleaning. So what wins out? The oven! We’re having company this weekend, and I don’t want to catch fire from some baked-on grease from the last time I used the oven. The next day I say I’ll read the book I got for a gift, but then my daughter comes to visit with my granddaughter and I figure the book can wait a little longer. Babies grow so fast, and they’re so cute! Tomorrow, I’m definitely going to start that exercise routine I got a video for. And try that new recipe a friend gave me. And call that old friend I promised to write to last year. Then there’s the New Milford Senior Center. They have so many things on the agenda. I want to take them all in. Classes in art, ceramics, line dancing; exercise sessions, bingo and scrabble, holiday parties, guest speakers on subjects I’d really like to know more about, etc. How does one get to fit it all in? I guess I have to learn to prioritize better and not procrastinate so much. From the looks of it, a lot of things I want to do may still have to wait for the next stage of life in the great beyond.
Terri Andersen is a New Milford resident who worked at The New Milford
Times in the 1970s.

Hubby and I just came back from a sailing tour...

Hi, folks! Hubby and I just came back from a sailing tour of the Caribbean to celebrate our wedding anniversary and we got to see some lush tropical islands like St. Maarten, St. Barthelemy, Nevis, Saba & Montserrat during the day and  partied every night on board--doesn't that sound glamorous? Well, now let me tell you the other side of the story. Originally, when we were talking “cruise” to celebrate the big event, I was picturing a luxury ship like the Love Boat, where the wind never blows your hair, everyone is romantic, and the Captain is just waiting for you to honor him with your presence at his table. The cabins, of course, are spacious and luxurious, with all the amenities on board that one can imagine. But as in any two-people relationship, what one has in mind is not necessarily what the other has in mind, and while I was thinking luxury, good old hubby was thinking “barefoot cruise,” which is why we found ourselves on a reconstructed sailing ship, where the wind plays havoc with your hair, everyone is wild, and the Captain is even wilder. As for the accommodations, they were not exactly what one would call “luxurious”--two bunks nailed to a wall, in a room that sloped, swayed, and had a few shelves for a closet. To give you an idea of what it felt like to sleep aboard a Sailing ship, when one of the passengers was asked “How did you sleep last night?” his answer was “Smack against the wall,” and we all knew exactly what he meant. Another “luxury” I kind of missed was a faucet that stays on when turned, and hot water. You see, in our tiny cubicle called a bathroom/shower there were only two faucets: one over the miniscule sink and one on the wall for the shower, both of which had to be held to keep the water running, and both of which ran only cold water. Ever try to take a shower with one hand on the faucet and one on the Soap, on a floor that slopes to the middle so the water can drain? Quite an experience! Now I know why someone who had taken the same cruise before us told me we'll probably want to shower together. I thought that was an indication of how romantic it would be, but I quickly found out the real reason--it's so one person can hold the water on while the other one screams and tries to find a corner to run to when those first cold drops hit the body. On the plus side, though, I really think the camaraderie that takes place on a ship like the one we were on can't possibly be matched on a “regular” cruise (unless hubby has me brainwashed by now). With the informality aboard and everyone sharing the same “roughing it” experience, you can't help but feel a unity with your fellow passengers. Hoisting sales together, then quenching your thirst together afterwards, makes for a lot of bosom buddies among previous strangers. As for myself, just watching the sails go up (to the music of “Amazing Grace,” mind you) made for a very touching experience. Add to that the constant party mood and hilarity and I know this is one trip we won't soon forget. - One last remark and I'll shut up about this trip already. Today I got to figuring that dear old hubby was no dummy when he suggested this trip. The bathroom at home that I've been complaining about for the last year because the remodeling is taking too long, and the paper is crooked, and the molding is not right, has suddenly become the most beautiful bathroom in the world to me, simply because it has level floors, space to turn around in, hot and cold running water and, best of all, it doesn't rock! Even to sit on a couch is a pleasure to me now, compared to a hard deck. What strikes us funniest now that we're back, though, is how we both are still swaying when we walk, so if you happen to see a middle-aged couple walking down the street who look like they've just come out of the neighborhood bar, don't be too hard on us; we're still just wobbly from our sailing expedition.
*Terri the Typesetter
November 9, 1984