Have you seen the new touch lamps...

T’s* View
Have you seen the new "touch" lamps, which at the touch of a finger on certain parts of the lamp the light goes from dim to bright to brighter, and then off? Well, we got one a month or two ago and I'm curious to know if ours is a one-of-a-kind or if they all behave like ours does. The first time I plugged the lamp in, it was a real hot day so we had a fan on as well as the lamp, and every time the fan moved, the lamp got brighter or went off. Even a slight touch of the table it was on, made the lamp change from low to medium to high and then off. A wind blowing in the window or the slamming of a door also activated the lamp. Finally we disconnected the lamp and called the store we bought it from to ask for a replacement. The owner said he'd order another lamp for us and we could bring in the lamp we have now when the new one arrived. Not having heard from the store yet, I decided to give the lamp another try when the weather wasn't so hot and no fan was on and no wind was coming in from a window. (No one can say I didn't give The Lamp a chance.) This time the lamp stayed on all evening and seemed to be working fine - that is, until I tried to "touch" it off. I must have touched every inch of the lamp, to no avail, and figured the only way I'd be able to shut it off would be to unplug it. But rather than be in the dark, I turned on a lamp on another table first, and, lo and behold, the touch lamp went off! I figured it was just a fluke, but now I'm beginning to think The Lamp has a mind of its own. When I tried to show my husband the strange way the lamp acted, it decided to behave properly and made me sound like I was imagining things. But the next day when I tried to shut the light off, again it refused to go off. I told my husband to put the lamp on by his chair, and sure enough, my lamp went off. At least that showed him that I wasn't imagining things, but I should have known better than to let him in on the quirks of The Lamp - now he gets his jollies by turning his light on and off every time he wants to tease me, by turning my light on and off when I least expect it. When we tried to show the kids the "strange" actions of The Lamp, it again refused to cooperate and they thought we were both getting senile. But later in the evening, when one of the kids turned another light on in the room, The Lamp went off just like we said it did and they could see it for themselves. Of course, every time someone new came into the room, they put The Lamp through its paces, and everyone got a good laugh. - Now if I take The Lamp back to the store, how do I know if it will behave properly or act strangely? If I fell the store owner my story, will he think I'm off my rocker or will he believe me? Although, with all the fun we're having with our "new toy". I'm not sure I want to take The Lamp back after all. It's becoming like part of the family and I may just decide to keep it, if for nothing else than a conversation piece. - (Just as I finished writing this, The Lamp went off all by itself. That was a little eerie. I may be returning it to the store after all.)
 *Terri the Typesetter
October 7, 1984