A New Wrinkle on Wrinkles

SENIOR FORUM
 A new wrinkle on wrinkles
BY TERRI ANDERSEN Contributing Writer
Nobody wants wrinkles, in their clothes or on their face. Unfortunately. however, wrinkles appear whether we like them or not. Until I was 50. I didn’t give a second thought to wrinkles on my face. When I was 55, all of a sudden there seemed to be more of them than I cared to have. By the time I was 60, they were all over my face. I didn’t feel old, but I sure looked old, so I decided to investigate and see if there was anything I could do about those creases in my face. For something so hard to do anything about, there sure are a lot of articles on the subject, and a slew of commercial products that promise to take care of the problem. Right now, as I write this, I have in my possession about 20 articles on ways to get rid of wrinkles, and in my medicine cabinet are about 10 products that promise to banish those caverns in a face. Which ones really work? You want the truth? OK, None! (At least not on my face.) One of the newest products on the market, that claims to reduce fine lines 80 or 90 percent and deep wrinkles by about 40 percent, beckoned to me from the skin care product shelf. My “fine lines” were already too far gone. so I didn’t pay much attention to their success rate, but the 40 percent for deep wrinkles made me feel that, hey, maybe this one is really the answer. (Usually the products only claim to “reduce the appearance of fine lines" and I’ve come to the conclusion that’s purely advertising talk and doesn’t mean a thing.) So okay, I buy and use this newest product for the time recommended to do its job, and what happens? (I bet you already guessed the answer.) Nothing! So I called the help-line number on the packaging and wanted to know “how come” I got no results. The sophisticated sounding lady who answered the phone insisted the product did keep its promises, as advertised, and she couldn’t understand why I saw no results. Then she asked me how old I was and I told her. Well! Right off the bat she knew what the problem was. The product was tested and marketed for 35–45 year olds, she informed me. H.E.L.L.O. “What do 35-45 year olds know about wrinkles?” I asked incredulously. She went on about how important it was to start taking care of one’s face while one was still young, but she really didn’t have an answer to my question. Then I saw an ad that sounded more like someone in my league. In the ad a girl vowed that her mother's face was covered with deep wrinkles, prune lips and crows feet until she used the product being advertised, and then the wrinkles and prune lips disappeared, the face muscles tightened, and the jowls didn't droop anymore. Even the age spots faded and the mother looked like a million dollars (for only $16.95!). Hey, that’s exactly what I'm looking for, I said to myself. And the advertiser was so convinced he had the best product on the market that a 100 percent money back guarantee came with the offer. Being a little skeptical, knowing what they say about anything that sounds too good to be true, usually is too good to be true, I got the bright idea of writing to the company and asking them to send me their product on a trial basis, and if it really did what they said it would, then I’d send them the money (and they wouldn’t have to bother sending me the money back if ... the product didn’t work). I mean, really, if I have to trust them with my money first, isn’t it only fair that they trust me to pay later? For some reason. I never got an answer to my letter. I decided to reread some of those articles I cut out of different magazines to see if maybe I missed something in the first reading. “To reveal fresher skin, exfoliation is the key,” one said. Another advised to “exercise your way to younger skin.” Use a steam facial; Saturate a cotton ball with witch hazel and swab over your face; moisturize, moisturize, moisturize (and be sure to use sunscreen); eat foods rich in vitamin A (like papaya), substitute chicken and fish for red meat, and drink at least eight glasses of water a day: revitalize your skin with a honey face mask (or a banana mask, an egg mask. or a brewer’s yeast mask); eat plenty of fruits and vegetables; exercise your face muscles; etc. etc. etc. So which piece of advice is the best? And when is it time to just give up and learn to accept those facial ruts? Guess what? I just ran across a remedy that sounds easy and hopefully promising: “wipe wrinkles away with a slice of apple.” Just rub a slice of apple over your skin and you can reduce wrinkles, it says. I can do that. If that doesn’t work, I'll give up, really I will.

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