Opinion Cary News
Carynews.com
What I'm learning from the e-mails my friends send me
BY TERRI ANDERSEN
It's always nice to get some mail, whether it be tangible in our mailbox at the end of the driveway or e-mails readable on our computer. When e-mails first became popular, most of them were just to keep in touch, but lately most of my e-mails come with attachments, some of which are very informative and some of which are pretty ridiculous. The ones that ask me to forward them to a number of people in order to have "good luck if you do and bad luck if you don't" remind me of the old chain letters that used to circulate and I ignore them. An e-mail I got recently reinforced my decision to think twice before forwarding. It claimed Snopes.com warns people that e-mails that ask for forwarding almost always have an e-mail tracker program attached that tracks the cookies and e-mails of those folks you forward to, which only benefits telemarketers and spammers. Another warning is not to add your name and e-mail address to listings that sound like you're supporting a great cause but actually are not. All they're doing is helping the spammers get rich. "E-mail petitions are NOT acceptable to Congress or any other organization. To be acceptable, petitions must have a signed signature and full address of the person signing the petition." A worthwhile e-mail I got from a neighbor who is a nurse taught me that female heart attacks are usually different than male heart attacks, in that "women rarely have the same dramatic symptoms like sudden stabbing pain in the chest, cold sweat and dropping to the floor." One woman who was just sitting in her recliner said she felt an awful sensation of indigestion, followed by a sensation of little squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up her spine and under her sternum. The process continued on into her throat and branched out into both jaws. That made her remember how she had often read or heard about pain in the jaws being one of the signals of an MI (myocardial infarction) and the woman said aloud to herself “Dear God, I think I'm having a heart attack!" She dialed paramedics. She didn't remember the medics coming in or getting her into an ambulance and taking her to the ER. In a few minutes they threaded a tiny angiogram balloon up her femoral artery into the aorta and into her heart where they installed two stints to hold open her blocked right coronary artery.
The woman said she wrote about the details because she wanted everyone to know what she learned first-hand. Another e-mail tip: Recognizing signs of a blood clot/stroke is also an important thing to know. Getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and getting medically cared for within three hours can save a life. See if a possible victim can do —four things: smile, talk (speak a simple sentence), raise both arms, stick out his/her tongue (if the tongue is crooked or goes to one side or the other, that could be an indication of a stroke.) If the person has trouble with any of these tasks, call 911 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher. Remember the letters STRT. Tick removal was the topic in another e-mail I received. It said a good way to remove a tick is to "apply a glob of liquid soap to a cotton ball and let it stay on the repulsive insect for 15-20 seconds, after which the tick will come out on its own and be stuck to the cotton ball when you lift it away." One of the less serious e-mails I received had to do with a new wine for seniors. Most of
us have heard of Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio, but the new wine would reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night. It would be marketed as Pino More. (LOL)
Friday, August 19, 2016
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Humor comes in many forms
ΤΗΕ CARY NEWS
carynews.com
Humor comes in many forms
BY TERRI ANDERSEN
I like to listen to preacher Joel Osteen's television program every week, and one of his recent topics was on the healing power of laughter. He mentioned that it's a good remedy for stress, it can build your immune system and even lower your blood pressure, in addition to possibly helping you sleep better.
He went on to say a joyful Spirit can keep you young (senior citizens, take note) and could even let you live longer. Don't forget to laugh, he advised, no matter how old you are, and don't let grumpiness take over your life. A happy heart and a cheerful mind is good medicine at any age, and it pleases God to see his children joyful, preacher Osteen added. Thankfully there's been much laughter in the Andersen household in the many years of our lives together, and I'd like to share some of the simple things that contributed to that laughter. Husband Herb's parents were born in Norway and the family name Andersen (ending with "sen") is more typical there and in Denmark (Hans Christian Andersen) than the "son" ending which is how most people automatically spell Anderson. A short time ago my daughter-in-law's mother wanted to reach my husband
to ask him a question about a computer problem. She looked in the telephone book for our number under the proper spelling of our name but couldn't find us. When she asked her daughter if we were listed in the phone book, the daughter asked her mother if she tried looking under “o-n," to which the mother replied, "Oh, I didn't know his name was Owen.” We all got a laugh out of that.
Another silly laugh producer came about because I often walk around the house in socks or stockings. My husband is always asking me why I don't just put on slippers. I told him the socks or stockings tell me if there is anything like a crumb or a grain of something on the floor that needs to be picked up. Cute Scandinavian that he is, he facetiously asked "In what language do they tell you that, in Feetish?".
Then there was the incident in the supermarket when we were adding a bottle of wine to our groceries. Evidently the clerks have to be sure they are not selling alcohol to a minor, so they're required to post the buyer's age on the purchase receipt. A little while back they actually asked for your birth date, but it seems the practice later changed to just having the clerk use any date he or she chose in calculation of a customer's age. A lot of people probably don't even look to see what date was chosen, but just for the fun of it, I do. When a date makes me much younger than I am, that's fine with me. But one time in 2008 a very young clerk posted my birth year as 1908. Dear husband thought that was hysterical. Evidently the clerk saw me as 100 years old, but even though I didn't think it was so funny, I had to laugh as I attributed the clerk's calculation to his youth. Anyone over 50 looks ancient to the young.
Then there's our chicken story. Whenever I roasted a whole chicken I always ended up eating the wings because neither my husband nor the kids thought there was enough meat on them to bother with and I didn't want anything to go to waste. Visiting some friends for dinner one day, I noticed that they roasted a good-sized chicken and I thought I'd finally get to eat some of the white meat for a change. Then I heard my husband tell the hostess,"Save the wings for Terri; that's the part of a chicken she likes best." That story got a lot of mileage in our house.
To go back a little farther in time, the company I worked for was sending a few of us secretaries to a seminar entitled "Humor in the Workplace.” The speaker had us smiling or laughing out loud many times during the presentation. When she was finished she asked us all to randomly հuց at least three people before we left the seminar. Everyone was in high spirits and hugging everyone around them. When I went to hug a woman standing by herself she backed up and seriously said, "I already hugged three people." I couldn't help but wonder if she brought any humor back to her workplace.
(Article was online at carynews.com)
Friday, August 12, 2016
Keeping promise for better or worse
Senior Moments
Terri Andersen
What does it take to keep a promise like “till death do us part”?
Husband Herb and I recently celebrated our 54th wedding anniversary. When a couple celebrates more than 50 years of marriage, they're often asked what contributed to the longevity of their union. Do outsiders think everything was perfect all the time, the couple was completely in tune with each other and never had a disagreement? Maybe there are such couples somewhere in the world, but none that I know of. A common factor in a marriage is that not long after the honeymoon many couples find they are the complete opposites of each other. A decidedly frugal person could wind up with a big spender (not usually seen as a problem before marriage), or a “neat nik” could wind up with a person who doesn’t think sloppy or disorganized is a sin (think “The Odd Couple” for example). That could be a problem or it could be a way of seeing another person's viewpoint. In our case, there were times when money was the bone of contention in an otherwise happy marriage. Herb sees so many things he wants to buy, without even looking at the price tag, while the first thing I look at is the price tag, and I make sure I check out the “clearance” rack. Obviously I’m the frugal one, most likely choosing an item I have a coupon for in the supermarket. He is the one who thinks nothing of buying the more expensive item, coupon or not (like $4.50 for a half pound of cheese dip). I would have chosen an item that costs less but in this case I gave in and I have to admit the dip was delicious. (We're still learning to accept each other as we are.) Knowing what upsets a partner and what doesn’t, and sincerely making an effort to keep things going as smoothly as possible helps. But no matter how terrific a union seems to be, there are bound to be times when one partner isn't too happy with the other. That feeling usually passes after a while, but trouble comes when no time is allowed for contemplation or forgiveness. Granted, some marriages have more “worse” than “better" in them - like affairs or physical abuse, for example — and staying together may not be an option, but how many couples react on the impulse of hurt feelings and quickly steer toward a divorce without giving themselves time to sort things out? Did a couple who stays married “till death do them part” never even have such thoughts? Guess what? When the money situation looked like a possible problem, the thought of separating crossed my mind a few times in 54 years, but when I asked myself if I’d be better off alone, I knew I couldn't do that to our children. They were so glad we were still together, since the parents of so many of their classmates were divorced. I had to admit that's not what I wanted. I knew Herb and I still loved each other, maybe not with the passion of our younger days, but by the way we care about each other in everyday life. Going to church together every week is another marriage unifier. - By now I know Herb's shortcomings and he knows mine, but managing to find something to laugh about, which happens a lot with us, has always cleared the air. There are times when he thinks I could use a hearing aid and I think he could use one, so the word “what?” pops up a lot, but when one of us repeats what we thought the other one said, we usually burst out laughing. Example: One day I told Herb our son John called to tell us he had a whole week off. Herb's response? “What's a holy cough?” Later Herb told me to give our son Bill a call. I thought he said something about an umbilical cord. (If he didn't try to tell me something when the TV is on or I'm looking for something in the refrigerator, there wouldn't be any problem.) All in all, being married for 54 years and raising five terrific kids who gifted us with five marvelous grandchildren is something we both feel blessed to have experienced.
If anyone wants to know how we really did it, I think the advice my mother gave us on our wedding day was a big help. It was short and sweet. All she said was, “Be kind to each other.”
Terri Andersen
What does it take to keep a promise like “till death do us part”?
Husband Herb and I recently celebrated our 54th wedding anniversary. When a couple celebrates more than 50 years of marriage, they're often asked what contributed to the longevity of their union. Do outsiders think everything was perfect all the time, the couple was completely in tune with each other and never had a disagreement? Maybe there are such couples somewhere in the world, but none that I know of. A common factor in a marriage is that not long after the honeymoon many couples find they are the complete opposites of each other. A decidedly frugal person could wind up with a big spender (not usually seen as a problem before marriage), or a “neat nik” could wind up with a person who doesn’t think sloppy or disorganized is a sin (think “The Odd Couple” for example). That could be a problem or it could be a way of seeing another person's viewpoint. In our case, there were times when money was the bone of contention in an otherwise happy marriage. Herb sees so many things he wants to buy, without even looking at the price tag, while the first thing I look at is the price tag, and I make sure I check out the “clearance” rack. Obviously I’m the frugal one, most likely choosing an item I have a coupon for in the supermarket. He is the one who thinks nothing of buying the more expensive item, coupon or not (like $4.50 for a half pound of cheese dip). I would have chosen an item that costs less but in this case I gave in and I have to admit the dip was delicious. (We're still learning to accept each other as we are.) Knowing what upsets a partner and what doesn’t, and sincerely making an effort to keep things going as smoothly as possible helps. But no matter how terrific a union seems to be, there are bound to be times when one partner isn't too happy with the other. That feeling usually passes after a while, but trouble comes when no time is allowed for contemplation or forgiveness. Granted, some marriages have more “worse” than “better" in them - like affairs or physical abuse, for example — and staying together may not be an option, but how many couples react on the impulse of hurt feelings and quickly steer toward a divorce without giving themselves time to sort things out? Did a couple who stays married “till death do them part” never even have such thoughts? Guess what? When the money situation looked like a possible problem, the thought of separating crossed my mind a few times in 54 years, but when I asked myself if I’d be better off alone, I knew I couldn't do that to our children. They were so glad we were still together, since the parents of so many of their classmates were divorced. I had to admit that's not what I wanted. I knew Herb and I still loved each other, maybe not with the passion of our younger days, but by the way we care about each other in everyday life. Going to church together every week is another marriage unifier. - By now I know Herb's shortcomings and he knows mine, but managing to find something to laugh about, which happens a lot with us, has always cleared the air. There are times when he thinks I could use a hearing aid and I think he could use one, so the word “what?” pops up a lot, but when one of us repeats what we thought the other one said, we usually burst out laughing. Example: One day I told Herb our son John called to tell us he had a whole week off. Herb's response? “What's a holy cough?” Later Herb told me to give our son Bill a call. I thought he said something about an umbilical cord. (If he didn't try to tell me something when the TV is on or I'm looking for something in the refrigerator, there wouldn't be any problem.) All in all, being married for 54 years and raising five terrific kids who gifted us with five marvelous grandchildren is something we both feel blessed to have experienced.
If anyone wants to know how we really did it, I think the advice my mother gave us on our wedding day was a big help. It was short and sweet. All she said was, “Be kind to each other.”
Monday, August 8, 2016
Will today's economy affect Santa's generosity?
Senior Moments
Terri Andersen
The department stores are worried that business will not be as good this Christmas as it’s been in previous years. Parents are wondering how they'll manage to get their children all the gifts they'd like to get, and the country in general is getting in debt so high, one can't imagine how it will ever be resolved. The words recession and depression bring old timers' memories of what life was like in the 1930s and '40s. As someone who was born in that time period, I remember how every cent spent had to be carefully considered, how we did without anything that wasn't absolutely necessary, and how we still managed to celebrate Christmas with the joy of what the day represented, namely, the birth of Jesus, the savior of the world. I don’t know if Santa Claus was as popular then as he is today, but he was definitely not a part of our celebration. In the small Brooklyn, N.Y. apartment my family occupied in that time period, we managed to stretch the kitchen/dining area into the living room so that our aunt, uncle and cousins could join us for a dinner that my mother planned and saved for since the beginning of the month. A 20-pound turkey, which had to be ordered in advance, plus homemade stuffing and gravy, sweet potatoes and homemade cranberry sauce were the order of the day after everyone attended church in the morning. There were no Christmas tree, no gifts and no Santa Claus, but it didn't matter because just being together with family, playing a few board games and enjoying their company seemed to be enough. After I was married and had children of my own I realized the times had changed dramatically. A flood of TV commercials made kids aware of all the toys that were available, and Santa got all the credit for whatever gift they found under the Christmas tree. Someplace along the way, I resented that. After my husband and I carefully budgeted what gifts we could afford, little by little we let the
kids know we were involved in the process. Not that they ever all that some of their friends got on Christmas, but we didn't believe in going overboard just to satisfy their every whim. By the time the fifth child was born into our family, we let it be known that no one was to expect any more than three gifts each, and the world didn't collapse when they didn't get everything they hoped for. In fact, I think it made them less greedy and encouraged them to figure out how to get for themselves what they really wanted. Each of our children, when in their teens, managed to do small jobs like lawn mowing, snow shoveling or babysitting to earn a few dollars, and I think they were more appreciative and careful of a bike or a gadget they paid for themselves. As the members of our family grew up, Christmas became a lot more expensive due to inflation, spouses and grandchildren. By then we had a house of our own in Connecticut and that was where all the relatives gathered for the holiday. Rather than supply a gift for everyone, we decided to go another route to be sure everyone got something for Christmas without anyone's budget getting depleted. At our Thanksgiving get togethers we put all the family members' names on separate pieces of paper, put them all in a hat, and everyone picked a name without looking. That's who they would buy a Christmas present for. Then we got together again on Christmas Eve for a Norwegian tradition of open sandwiches and cookies, after which everyone opened their gift. On Christmas morning the grown-up family members followed their traditional celebration in their own homes, and that seemed to work for everyone. These days if anyone volunteers to make Christmas day dinner later in the afternoon, there's always at least a few who very cheerfully accept the invitation. Knowing that an earlier generation survived a serious depression should let today’s generation know that regarding what is happening in our country now, “this too shall pass,” and the future may be better than it was before — hopefully economically, environmentally and energy-wise. So here's wishing everyone a merry Christmas and a happy New Year, in spite of the problems we're facing right now.
Friday, August 5, 2016
Politics and religion: surefire controversy
Senior Moments
Terri Andersen
Why is it so upsetting for some people to hear the word “God” mentioned? Everyone in this world has a belief system of one form or another. Usually we associate belief with a supernatural being who has our best interests at heart and we worship that being as we see fit. Atheists deny there is any such being and fight against it as much as they can, although fighting against anything actually admits that it exists. Normally this is not a subject I would write about, because I believe everyone has a right to their own belief. But when it comes to politics and our country being so engrossed in that right now, it surprises me that so much attention is paid to whatever is said by one party or another that might relate to religion of any kind. (In all the years I’ve been alive I never saw so much campaigning) Earlier in this exceptionally long campaign year there was a worry in some people’s minds that Senator Obama might be a Muslim, but the Senator clearly proclaimed that he’s been a Christian for over twenty years and that he believes in Jesus Christ. Fine. If he believes in Jesus as the son of God, most likely it would follow that he believes in God the Father. Yet when Republican Vice President nominee Sarah Palin stated in one of her appearances that she hoped to follow God’s plan for our country, she was criticized by Obama, and probably many others, who were afraid that she would let religion have an impact on her decisions. Would that be so terrible? Would a God who loves us dearly steer us in the wrong direction? Incidentally, to learn something about Muslims I looked the word up in my encyclopedia and found that Muslim means “one who submits to God,” which only goes to show that the religion itself is not the reason some people become terrorists. It’s the people who don’t follow their religion who become terrorists. This reminds me of the time when John F. Kennedy was running for President of the United States. Because he was a Catholic, many people thought electing him would result in the Pope ruling our country, which was an unnecessary worry because that never happened. Today, Kennedy is rated as one of our best Presidents and many people wish his term wouldn’t have been cut so short by assassination. Another one of the big concerns these days is the Ten Commandments. Even thought this country was founded on those principles, and even though those commandments are engraved on doors and walls in many of our nation’s capital buildings, and the Senate starts its day with prayer, there are all kinds of protests that the commandments should be removed to honor the “separation of church and state” that many citizens see as something the First Amendment to our Constitution calls for. Actually, those people got that wrong. The Constitution does not use the words “separation of church and state” per se. What it actually calls for is not forcing any particular religion on the people, but to allow its citizens freedom to choose whichever religion gives them the spiritual rejuvenation they seek. “Separation of church and state” is traced to a letter written by Thomas Jefferson in 1802 paraphrasing the First Amendment.
To digress from politics and the religion conflict, I’d like to quote some of the information I’ve read, stating that a big factor in health and longevity is a person’s religion and/or spirituality. Scientific research has actually shown religion to be good for the body and soul. A book I have that “unleashes your body’s healing power” (by the editors of FC&A Medical Publishing) states that faith “helps you thrive after surgery, heals your heart, overcomes high blood pressure” and much more. Be aware that “faith is a benefit to your health” and “more things are wrought by prayer than men dream of.”
I’m sure the 2008 November election will be a close one and my prayer is “may the team that is best for our country win”. Amen.
Thursday, August 4, 2016
What the sound of music does for me
Senior Moments
Terri Andersen
Music has always been an important part of my life. For the first 18 years of my existence my father owned a small music store in Brooklyn, N.Y. By the time I was 11 or 12 years old most of my after school hours were spent there, often as the sales clerk but, being surrounded by a piano and lots of piano music, when business was slow I used whatever I was taught in music class to teach myself how to play the piano. The first thing they taught us about music in school was that there are seven notes (A,B,C,D,E,F,G), and where each note is on the staff: EGBDF (Every Good Boy Does Fine) on the five ascending lines and FACE in the ascending spaces between the lines. The next thing to learn was where those notes were on the piano, using the seven-key sequence from one end of the keyboard to the other. By the time I was 14 or 15 years old I managed to read enough music to actually play a melody that someone else wrote (a thrilling accomplishment to me). What has always amazed me, though, is that with only seven notes in a scale, So many different combinations of those notes can be used to create thousands of different melodies. Even more amazing is that one composition can be harmoniously arranged for all the varied instruments in an Orchestra. When I think of all the music composed by Mozart and Chopin, two of my favorites, I can't help but be impressed by the variety they came up with and, more importantly, the way their music can elevate my Soul. Until just recently I saw music mainly as enjoyable entertainment. Then I saw an article in Prevention magazine that called music "a sonic health boost", crediting music with easing pain, fighting disease, reducing stress, lowering blood pressure and more. It also said there are certified music therapists who treat different health conditions with positive results. Years ago, the popular quote was “Music soothes the savage breast" (some people used the word “beast” rather than “breast"). From my own experience I do know that music has an effect on our moods. No matter how low I might be feeling, let me hear a polka and my feet can't sit still. The Frankie Yankovic Polka Band that played in Cary's Page-Walker Memorial Garden in May made me want to get up and dance on the lawn in front of a bunch of strangers, but at my age I felt I'd be making a fool of myself. I have to remind myself I'm not in my 20s anymore, when I could polka for hours and love every minute, without aching thighs or running out of breath. The first time I heard the Yankovic band was when it was scheduled for a St. Patrick's Day celebration at St. Michael the Archangel Catholic Church in Cary. Polkas for St. Patrick's Day? I had to see what that was all about and was pleasantly surprised to hear the band play Irish songs we could all sing, in addition to polkas and slow music for anyone who wanted to dance. I also loved hearing the Raleigh Concert Band that played in Raleigh's Fred Fletcher Park in July. They played old favorites, marches, even some opera music, and they were wonderful to listen to. Part of the first concert I attended was rained out during the last part of their performance, but their next concert was a Leroy Anderson tribute and it brought back so many memories of the music I loved in the 1950s and '60s. Since I don't drive, I'm tickled pink that my neighbor across the street, who plays the French horn in the Raleigh Concert Band, manages to find room in her car for me. In the last concert I attended I was sitting right in front of the trombone section and was surprised to hear such pleasant sounds of melody and harmony coming from trombones. When I was in high school I played the trombone in the school orchestra and never got past the two or three bass notes I played. I never mastered the piano enough to play it in the school orchestra and there were plenty of girls who did, but nobody played trombone so they gave me a few lessons and that was my instrument until graduation. The piano my husband bought me almost 40 years ago is my favorite possession even though I’m still an amateur. Having music in the house is something I'll always love — three of our five children taught themselves to play, too.
Terri Andersen
Music has always been an important part of my life. For the first 18 years of my existence my father owned a small music store in Brooklyn, N.Y. By the time I was 11 or 12 years old most of my after school hours were spent there, often as the sales clerk but, being surrounded by a piano and lots of piano music, when business was slow I used whatever I was taught in music class to teach myself how to play the piano. The first thing they taught us about music in school was that there are seven notes (A,B,C,D,E,F,G), and where each note is on the staff: EGBDF (Every Good Boy Does Fine) on the five ascending lines and FACE in the ascending spaces between the lines. The next thing to learn was where those notes were on the piano, using the seven-key sequence from one end of the keyboard to the other. By the time I was 14 or 15 years old I managed to read enough music to actually play a melody that someone else wrote (a thrilling accomplishment to me). What has always amazed me, though, is that with only seven notes in a scale, So many different combinations of those notes can be used to create thousands of different melodies. Even more amazing is that one composition can be harmoniously arranged for all the varied instruments in an Orchestra. When I think of all the music composed by Mozart and Chopin, two of my favorites, I can't help but be impressed by the variety they came up with and, more importantly, the way their music can elevate my Soul. Until just recently I saw music mainly as enjoyable entertainment. Then I saw an article in Prevention magazine that called music "a sonic health boost", crediting music with easing pain, fighting disease, reducing stress, lowering blood pressure and more. It also said there are certified music therapists who treat different health conditions with positive results. Years ago, the popular quote was “Music soothes the savage breast" (some people used the word “beast” rather than “breast"). From my own experience I do know that music has an effect on our moods. No matter how low I might be feeling, let me hear a polka and my feet can't sit still. The Frankie Yankovic Polka Band that played in Cary's Page-Walker Memorial Garden in May made me want to get up and dance on the lawn in front of a bunch of strangers, but at my age I felt I'd be making a fool of myself. I have to remind myself I'm not in my 20s anymore, when I could polka for hours and love every minute, without aching thighs or running out of breath. The first time I heard the Yankovic band was when it was scheduled for a St. Patrick's Day celebration at St. Michael the Archangel Catholic Church in Cary. Polkas for St. Patrick's Day? I had to see what that was all about and was pleasantly surprised to hear the band play Irish songs we could all sing, in addition to polkas and slow music for anyone who wanted to dance. I also loved hearing the Raleigh Concert Band that played in Raleigh's Fred Fletcher Park in July. They played old favorites, marches, even some opera music, and they were wonderful to listen to. Part of the first concert I attended was rained out during the last part of their performance, but their next concert was a Leroy Anderson tribute and it brought back so many memories of the music I loved in the 1950s and '60s. Since I don't drive, I'm tickled pink that my neighbor across the street, who plays the French horn in the Raleigh Concert Band, manages to find room in her car for me. In the last concert I attended I was sitting right in front of the trombone section and was surprised to hear such pleasant sounds of melody and harmony coming from trombones. When I was in high school I played the trombone in the school orchestra and never got past the two or three bass notes I played. I never mastered the piano enough to play it in the school orchestra and there were plenty of girls who did, but nobody played trombone so they gave me a few lessons and that was my instrument until graduation. The piano my husband bought me almost 40 years ago is my favorite possession even though I’m still an amateur. Having music in the house is something I'll always love — three of our five children taught themselves to play, too.
Monday, July 25, 2016
Which do you focus on, your ups or your downs?
Senior Moments
Terri Andersen
I just ran across a quote I saved a long time ago:
“The negative thinker tends to draw back to himself negative results, while the positive thinker activates the world around him positively.”
The author was Norman Vincent Peale and I remember telling myself he's right, the way we think does have an influence on the path our life takes. Does that mean I never have negative thoughts? No. I try to avoid them, but negative thoughts do have a way of creeping into our heads without us even realizing it, so it's up tò us to fight them with positives. I know I've gotten pretty bent out of shape over all the new technology I can't seem to catch up with, and the fact that old age is creeping up on me much faster than I’d like, but when I think of the beauty of nature that surrounds me and the joys of having a family that I’ve been blessed with, I can't help but feel positively grateful. Scholars say the universe gives back to us what we give to the universe: If we're generous and grateful, we will be rewarded with more to be grateful for, but if we're mean and selfish, peace and happiness will elude us. - It's often been said, if you want to be happy, do what it takes to make someone else happy, too. Giving our ego a back seat and paying attention to what others need is a step in the right direction, be it by volunteering time or giving money. There may be times when the good we do and giving our best to the world might not be appreciated, but we shouldn't let that bother us. Mother Teresa advocated that we do good and give our best to the world anyway, and she was honored all over the world. - I've known people who claimed there were no positives in their life; all they focused on were what was wrong and what they didn't have, as opposed to what was right in their life and what they did have. They didn't acknowledge the fact that their body had no serious ailments, they had a house to live in and food on the table. All they saw was what someone else had that they didn't, like a bigger house or a fancier car, but they weren't interested in doing what it takes to have what they wanted. What's the one thing anyone with a broken arm or leg would want most? Healing of that arm or leg, right? Yet if nothing is broken, we tend to take for granted all of our parts that are working just fine, For anyone who doesn't think that's so special, consider former “Superman” Christopher Reeve and what he had to go through after the accident that paralyzed him. In spite of his acknowledging that the mind and spirit transcend the body, in a Reader's Digest interview he admitted that sometimes it bothered him when people took their ability to move for granted. Best selling author Wayne Dyer, who often appears on public television, emphasizes the fact that our thoughts have a big influence on what happens in our lives. According to Dyer, if we say we can't be happy unless we have this or that, we're not allowing happiness into our lives and it will elude us as long as we think that way. He also tells us that holding a grudge and harboring hate or resentment does more internal harm to the hater than to the one being hated, and when we learn to forgive we do ourselves a favor." Another piece of advice from Dyer is that if we pursue a goal and believe we can achieve it, we put ourselves - in a frame of mind that brings good vibrations into our field of energy. British essayist, novelist and poet Ꮐ. K. Chesterton put it in simpler words: “If you think wrong, you go wrong.” - What we have to remember is that our most important power is the power of choice. We can choose the negative or we can choose the positive, We can choose to give instead of take, and choose to see the best in people instead of the worst. - A quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln says "A man can be as happy as he makes up his mind to be." The way I see it is that everyone has ups and downs in their life, and our happiness or unhappiness depends on which we choose to focus on, the ups or the downs.
Terri Andersen
I just ran across a quote I saved a long time ago:
“The negative thinker tends to draw back to himself negative results, while the positive thinker activates the world around him positively.”
The author was Norman Vincent Peale and I remember telling myself he's right, the way we think does have an influence on the path our life takes. Does that mean I never have negative thoughts? No. I try to avoid them, but negative thoughts do have a way of creeping into our heads without us even realizing it, so it's up tò us to fight them with positives. I know I've gotten pretty bent out of shape over all the new technology I can't seem to catch up with, and the fact that old age is creeping up on me much faster than I’d like, but when I think of the beauty of nature that surrounds me and the joys of having a family that I’ve been blessed with, I can't help but feel positively grateful. Scholars say the universe gives back to us what we give to the universe: If we're generous and grateful, we will be rewarded with more to be grateful for, but if we're mean and selfish, peace and happiness will elude us. - It's often been said, if you want to be happy, do what it takes to make someone else happy, too. Giving our ego a back seat and paying attention to what others need is a step in the right direction, be it by volunteering time or giving money. There may be times when the good we do and giving our best to the world might not be appreciated, but we shouldn't let that bother us. Mother Teresa advocated that we do good and give our best to the world anyway, and she was honored all over the world. - I've known people who claimed there were no positives in their life; all they focused on were what was wrong and what they didn't have, as opposed to what was right in their life and what they did have. They didn't acknowledge the fact that their body had no serious ailments, they had a house to live in and food on the table. All they saw was what someone else had that they didn't, like a bigger house or a fancier car, but they weren't interested in doing what it takes to have what they wanted. What's the one thing anyone with a broken arm or leg would want most? Healing of that arm or leg, right? Yet if nothing is broken, we tend to take for granted all of our parts that are working just fine, For anyone who doesn't think that's so special, consider former “Superman” Christopher Reeve and what he had to go through after the accident that paralyzed him. In spite of his acknowledging that the mind and spirit transcend the body, in a Reader's Digest interview he admitted that sometimes it bothered him when people took their ability to move for granted. Best selling author Wayne Dyer, who often appears on public television, emphasizes the fact that our thoughts have a big influence on what happens in our lives. According to Dyer, if we say we can't be happy unless we have this or that, we're not allowing happiness into our lives and it will elude us as long as we think that way. He also tells us that holding a grudge and harboring hate or resentment does more internal harm to the hater than to the one being hated, and when we learn to forgive we do ourselves a favor." Another piece of advice from Dyer is that if we pursue a goal and believe we can achieve it, we put ourselves - in a frame of mind that brings good vibrations into our field of energy. British essayist, novelist and poet Ꮐ. K. Chesterton put it in simpler words: “If you think wrong, you go wrong.” - What we have to remember is that our most important power is the power of choice. We can choose the negative or we can choose the positive, We can choose to give instead of take, and choose to see the best in people instead of the worst. - A quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln says "A man can be as happy as he makes up his mind to be." The way I see it is that everyone has ups and downs in their life, and our happiness or unhappiness depends on which we choose to focus on, the ups or the downs.
Thursday, July 21, 2016
Avoid being a victim
Senior Moments
Terri Andersen
With identity theft the fastest growing crime in this country, and senior citizens considered a vulnerable target, the SearStone retirement community developers decided to host an identity theft prevention session for seniors on April 17 at the Prestonwood Country Club. Officer Brian Austin, community service coordinator of the Cary Police Department, gave his audience the following helpful hints to avoid being a victim of ID theft. - - 1) Don't give any information to people who identify themselves, either on the phone or by e-mail, as legitimate banks or credit-card companies you deal with, who claim they want to update their records of your accounts. Instead, call your bank or credit-card company direct to verify if information is needed. If not, call the police department to report the incident. 2) Beware of e-mail “phishing.” That's another scam that looks official from a bank or company you deal with. If they ask you to click on a blue link, don't do it. If you click on the link they ask you to, they can get their own card with your identity sent to their address and you won't know about it until you get a call from a collection agency for a charge you never made. So never give any information to an unsolicited e-mail or phone call. 3) Austin also advised us not to carry our Social Security card in our purse or wallet in case it gets stolen, and to shred any documents with personal information or blank checks that come in the mail. He suggested shredding often so you don’t end up with a big accumulation. Austin can be reached at brianaustin@townofcary.org. Next Caroline Farmer, deputy director of the N.C. Department of Justice's Victims Unit, had all kinds of tips to avoid being an identity-theft victim. - 1) She also stressed shredding anything we're discarding that contains personal or account information that would let a thief steal our identity, and she invited us to SearStone's free Shredder Day on April 25 * 2) The best way to find out if anyone is using your information without your knowledge is to get your credit report from all three credit bureaus every year We're allowed one free report a year. -If we have reason to believe someone is using our personal information without our approval, there's a new consumer right provided by North Carolina law that allows us to place a security freeze on our credit reports by notifying a credit bureau to block anyone from opening new accounts or getting credit in our name. The only drawback is that if you need to get a loan, a new credit card or apply for a job, you would need to lift the freeze temporarily or remove it permanently by notifying the credit bureau. Another tip from Farmer: If the credit bureau asks for your personal information, respond from a wired phone, not a cellphone or a wireless phone. 4) If you do experience ID theft, call the Attorney General's office at (877) 566-7226 or the local police department to file a report. That will allow you to file an affidavit for protection to clear your name. 5) Rather than carry your original Medicare card with your Social Security number on it in your wallet or purse, memorize the number and make a copy of the card for your wallet, with the SSN blocked out. Be aware that you don't have to give your number to everyone who asks for it. Most times it's not necessary. 6) When making out a check, sign your name in a certain way so you'd know if someone else is trying to cash a check of yours. Also, don't put your driver's license number on your checks. If blank “convenience” checks come in the mail, call to cancel them, since unlocked mailboxes by the road can be unsafe. If you do online banking, make sure your Spyware and firewall protection is up to date. 7) At an ATM make sure no one is near you. Someone with a cellphone can zoom in and take a picture of the card in your hand or your PIN number. 8) A credit card offers more consumer protection than a debit card because a thief can wipe out your account with a debit card before you're aware of it. " The session was very informative and a definite plus was that questions were accepted and answered.
Terri Andersen
With identity theft the fastest growing crime in this country, and senior citizens considered a vulnerable target, the SearStone retirement community developers decided to host an identity theft prevention session for seniors on April 17 at the Prestonwood Country Club. Officer Brian Austin, community service coordinator of the Cary Police Department, gave his audience the following helpful hints to avoid being a victim of ID theft. - - 1) Don't give any information to people who identify themselves, either on the phone or by e-mail, as legitimate banks or credit-card companies you deal with, who claim they want to update their records of your accounts. Instead, call your bank or credit-card company direct to verify if information is needed. If not, call the police department to report the incident. 2) Beware of e-mail “phishing.” That's another scam that looks official from a bank or company you deal with. If they ask you to click on a blue link, don't do it. If you click on the link they ask you to, they can get their own card with your identity sent to their address and you won't know about it until you get a call from a collection agency for a charge you never made. So never give any information to an unsolicited e-mail or phone call. 3) Austin also advised us not to carry our Social Security card in our purse or wallet in case it gets stolen, and to shred any documents with personal information or blank checks that come in the mail. He suggested shredding often so you don’t end up with a big accumulation. Austin can be reached at brianaustin@townofcary.org. Next Caroline Farmer, deputy director of the N.C. Department of Justice's Victims Unit, had all kinds of tips to avoid being an identity-theft victim. - 1) She also stressed shredding anything we're discarding that contains personal or account information that would let a thief steal our identity, and she invited us to SearStone's free Shredder Day on April 25 * 2) The best way to find out if anyone is using your information without your knowledge is to get your credit report from all three credit bureaus every year We're allowed one free report a year. -If we have reason to believe someone is using our personal information without our approval, there's a new consumer right provided by North Carolina law that allows us to place a security freeze on our credit reports by notifying a credit bureau to block anyone from opening new accounts or getting credit in our name. The only drawback is that if you need to get a loan, a new credit card or apply for a job, you would need to lift the freeze temporarily or remove it permanently by notifying the credit bureau. Another tip from Farmer: If the credit bureau asks for your personal information, respond from a wired phone, not a cellphone or a wireless phone. 4) If you do experience ID theft, call the Attorney General's office at (877) 566-7226 or the local police department to file a report. That will allow you to file an affidavit for protection to clear your name. 5) Rather than carry your original Medicare card with your Social Security number on it in your wallet or purse, memorize the number and make a copy of the card for your wallet, with the SSN blocked out. Be aware that you don't have to give your number to everyone who asks for it. Most times it's not necessary. 6) When making out a check, sign your name in a certain way so you'd know if someone else is trying to cash a check of yours. Also, don't put your driver's license number on your checks. If blank “convenience” checks come in the mail, call to cancel them, since unlocked mailboxes by the road can be unsafe. If you do online banking, make sure your Spyware and firewall protection is up to date. 7) At an ATM make sure no one is near you. Someone with a cellphone can zoom in and take a picture of the card in your hand or your PIN number. 8) A credit card offers more consumer protection than a debit card because a thief can wipe out your account with a debit card before you're aware of it. " The session was very informative and a definite plus was that questions were accepted and answered.
Monday, July 18, 2016
The Cary News-We followed the boys here
We followed the boys here
As new residents of Cary (a little over a year ago), my husband Herb and I decided to visit the Cary Senior Center last November to see if we could meet other senior citizens and possibly find some kindred souls who could tell us a little about Cary. The first activity was the Veterans Day Luncheon, since Herb was a U.S. Marine who served in Korea, and veterans from any war seem to have an affinity for other vets who experienced what they did. The luncheon was great and we got to meet the mayor, who asked where we were from and what motivated us to move to Cary. Before we could answer, he added that most parents come to Cary to be near their kids, who moved here for employment purposes, and we smiled because that was exactly what brought us here. Over the last 10 years, our four boys moved to North Carolina, one at a time, because the job market was better here than it was in Connecticut. The first son settled in Chapel Hill, two now live in Raleigh and one in Apex, Herb and I considered relocating south also when we realized there was no family left in Connecticut, but we weren't sure we wanted to leave a place where : we spent the last 36 years of our lives. However, our boys convinced us to sell the house because they felt we didn't need such a big place anymore and they didn't want to worry about us shoveling snow and getting through the cold New England winters. So they house hunted in this area until they found what they saw as the perfect house for us in Cary (close to each of them yet distant enough for everyone to have their space). Believe it or not, we bought the house sight unseen (other than pictures on a Web site) and couldn't believe how everything worked out so well. The boys found us a lawyer in Cary to handle the paperwork, then supplied us with a refrigerator, washer and dryer, since we left all our appliances for the couple who bought our house. One of the boys and his girlfriend even came up to Connecticut by plane to drive us down here in our car after the movers put our furniture into a moving van. I’m happy to say, we love the house, love being close to our kids, and are very impressed with the town of Cary. It has a charm all its own, is well kept, and is well equipped with stores that enable us to buy anything we could possibly need. I might add that we've found a lot to buy since we've moved here, so parents relocating to be near their kids must be good for Cary's economy. There are a few downsides, though. When we saw Cary on the map, we thought we were moving to a small town with maybe twenty or thirty thousand people, and were overwhelmed to find it has a population of over 110,000, which of course makes for a lot of traffic. I don't drive, so I have to depend on my husband for transportation. While he loves those green arrow signs at intersections, and the signs that announce major intersections coming up, I find all that traffic pedestrian-unfriendly when I try to walk anyplace and have to cross a parkway or major road. Another downside was trying to find a doctor who would accept new Medicare patients. It took us a whole year to finally find one. On the whole though, we're glad we made the decision to move here.
Terri Andersen lives in Cary and enjoys writing about issues related to seniors. -
Thursday, July 14, 2016
After moving to a new state, we 'embrace the place where we are'
Spectrum
Maturity
Friday, April 7, 2006
After moving to a new state, we ‘embrace the place we are'
My father used to say, “If I can't have what I want, I want what I have.” When I was young I didn't understand what that meant. It sounded like he was settling for less than what he really wanted. As I got older, the saying started making sense to me, and I found myself understanding it to mean that you need to look for the good side of what you have instead of complaining about what you don't have. Or as my favorite preacher, Joel Osteen, advises, “Embrace the place where you are.” When my husband and I decided to move from our home in New Milford — a town we truly loved—not long ago, I couldn't imagine being as happy anyplace else as we were there. But little by little we're noticing all the joy we're getting out of our new environment in North Carolina . The first joy came from living in a house that needed nothing fixed. Then there was the weather. We never expected to be living in an area where we didn't need winter coats or boots the entire winter. There were days in December, January and February when the temperature was in the 50s or 60s. In March we even had some 70- and 80– degree days. As pretty as Snow made the landscape in New Milford, it was awfully nice this winter not to have to worry about how to get the car out of the driveway or bout hurting ourselves shoveling snow. (Having a garage for he first time in over 50 years of marriage is another plus.) When we bought the house we're now in, we had no idea what kind of plantings surrounded it, but in the last month or two, we were gifted to see a beautiful camellia tree in full bloom outside our kitchen window, daffodils all around our mailbox, and even a magnolia tree on our front lawn. This week, we realized that all the bushes surrounding the very tall pine trees in front and back of the house are actually azaleas. Loads of them in white, light pink and dark pink, are presently in the process of blooming. (My cup runneth over with joy!) One morning I had another surprise. When I woke up and faced the window a short space away from my bed, I was startled to see a bright red glow between the bottom two slats of the wooden blind. My first thought was a panic that something outside was on fire. As I “sprang from my bed” to get a closer look at what was happening, “what to my wondering eyes should appear", but a glorious sunrise. I stood by the window in awe as the bright red color spread itself into pinks and golds and tinted any clouds in the vicinity with shades of salmon interspersing the blue sky. In our old house, my husband and I used to love the amazing sunsets we saw from our windows facing west — I often ran outside to photograph them — and we knew that was something we would miss if we didn't see Sunsets in our new home. Having sunrises to view now is another example of “if we can't have what we want, we want what we have.” - Allow me to give just one more example: It has to do with proving that where there's a will, there's a way. I mentioned before that our new home is smaller than our old one, which is good because there's less to take care of, but it's not so good if one wants to invite 12 people to dinner, which I did to celebrate my husband's birthday and one of our sons' birthday on a Sunday between both those two dates. After I already invited everyone for pot roast dinner (to be cooked in my trusty old red pot with one handle missing) I wondered how to fit 12 people at a table that seats only six and is in a small area off the kitchen. Putting ingenuity into practice, I remembered that we had a small patio table on the back porch and a card table and chairs in the garage, so those were set up in the family room adjoining the official dining area, and it was like we had a little bistro restaurant where everyone could talk to each other, pass the salt or butter, and enjoy camaraderie with the whole family. As far as the town itself goes, I have to admit that the people who set up the town of New Milford did a marvelous job of centralizing all the important places in which a person has to do business. In New Milford the post office, banks, library, pharmacy, Senior Center, lawyers, churches, restaurants and other stores can all be reached from one parking area. In our new town, there are many, many shopping centers, but the post office, most banks and professionals like doctors and lawyers are in separate areas that need extra driving. Worse yet, we found that most doctors in our new town are not accepting Medicare patients. Until now, I thought all physicians had to accept it, but the excuse seems to be “no new Medicare patients.” One other thing: I'd like to warn people who are thinking of moving to another state to check if their medical insurance will be affected by the move. We had the shock of learning out-of-state can result in not so pleasant changes as far as coverage is concerned. (Here's a case where my father's saying isn't so easy to accept, but I guess there are exceptions to every rule, right?) Just being with our family, though, is worth whatever it takes.
Terri Andersen, who lived in New Milford for 36 years before relocating to North Carolina a few months ago, has been a regular columnist in the "Spectrum Maturity” section of The Greater New Milford Spectrum the past several years.
Maturity
Friday, April 7, 2006
After moving to a new state, we ‘embrace the place we are'
My father used to say, “If I can't have what I want, I want what I have.” When I was young I didn't understand what that meant. It sounded like he was settling for less than what he really wanted. As I got older, the saying started making sense to me, and I found myself understanding it to mean that you need to look for the good side of what you have instead of complaining about what you don't have. Or as my favorite preacher, Joel Osteen, advises, “Embrace the place where you are.” When my husband and I decided to move from our home in New Milford — a town we truly loved—not long ago, I couldn't imagine being as happy anyplace else as we were there. But little by little we're noticing all the joy we're getting out of our new environment in North Carolina . The first joy came from living in a house that needed nothing fixed. Then there was the weather. We never expected to be living in an area where we didn't need winter coats or boots the entire winter. There were days in December, January and February when the temperature was in the 50s or 60s. In March we even had some 70- and 80– degree days. As pretty as Snow made the landscape in New Milford, it was awfully nice this winter not to have to worry about how to get the car out of the driveway or bout hurting ourselves shoveling snow. (Having a garage for he first time in over 50 years of marriage is another plus.) When we bought the house we're now in, we had no idea what kind of plantings surrounded it, but in the last month or two, we were gifted to see a beautiful camellia tree in full bloom outside our kitchen window, daffodils all around our mailbox, and even a magnolia tree on our front lawn. This week, we realized that all the bushes surrounding the very tall pine trees in front and back of the house are actually azaleas. Loads of them in white, light pink and dark pink, are presently in the process of blooming. (My cup runneth over with joy!) One morning I had another surprise. When I woke up and faced the window a short space away from my bed, I was startled to see a bright red glow between the bottom two slats of the wooden blind. My first thought was a panic that something outside was on fire. As I “sprang from my bed” to get a closer look at what was happening, “what to my wondering eyes should appear", but a glorious sunrise. I stood by the window in awe as the bright red color spread itself into pinks and golds and tinted any clouds in the vicinity with shades of salmon interspersing the blue sky. In our old house, my husband and I used to love the amazing sunsets we saw from our windows facing west — I often ran outside to photograph them — and we knew that was something we would miss if we didn't see Sunsets in our new home. Having sunrises to view now is another example of “if we can't have what we want, we want what we have.” - Allow me to give just one more example: It has to do with proving that where there's a will, there's a way. I mentioned before that our new home is smaller than our old one, which is good because there's less to take care of, but it's not so good if one wants to invite 12 people to dinner, which I did to celebrate my husband's birthday and one of our sons' birthday on a Sunday between both those two dates. After I already invited everyone for pot roast dinner (to be cooked in my trusty old red pot with one handle missing) I wondered how to fit 12 people at a table that seats only six and is in a small area off the kitchen. Putting ingenuity into practice, I remembered that we had a small patio table on the back porch and a card table and chairs in the garage, so those were set up in the family room adjoining the official dining area, and it was like we had a little bistro restaurant where everyone could talk to each other, pass the salt or butter, and enjoy camaraderie with the whole family. As far as the town itself goes, I have to admit that the people who set up the town of New Milford did a marvelous job of centralizing all the important places in which a person has to do business. In New Milford the post office, banks, library, pharmacy, Senior Center, lawyers, churches, restaurants and other stores can all be reached from one parking area. In our new town, there are many, many shopping centers, but the post office, most banks and professionals like doctors and lawyers are in separate areas that need extra driving. Worse yet, we found that most doctors in our new town are not accepting Medicare patients. Until now, I thought all physicians had to accept it, but the excuse seems to be “no new Medicare patients.” One other thing: I'd like to warn people who are thinking of moving to another state to check if their medical insurance will be affected by the move. We had the shock of learning out-of-state can result in not so pleasant changes as far as coverage is concerned. (Here's a case where my father's saying isn't so easy to accept, but I guess there are exceptions to every rule, right?) Just being with our family, though, is worth whatever it takes.
Terri Andersen, who lived in New Milford for 36 years before relocating to North Carolina a few months ago, has been a regular columnist in the "Spectrum Maturity” section of The Greater New Milford Spectrum the past several years.
Monday, July 11, 2016
What will the new year bring into our lives?
Spectrum
Maturity
Terri Andersen
What will the new year bring into our lives?
Here it is, another new year, and so many of us wonder where last year's time went. At least that's the impression I get from the people who wrote notes in their Christmas cards to “I can't believe another year has passed,” some said. “Where did the time go?" others asked. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, the passage of time can be arduously long or extremely short, depending to what's going on in our life at the moment. Someone said an example of Einsteins theory would be the difference between five minutes sitting on a hot stove and five minutes spent with someone you love. I know that when I had a bad cold that lasted two weeks in December, I felt like I'd been sick for such a long time there must be something seriously wrong. Then when the cold finally went away and I got into getting ready for Christmas, two weeks didn't feel like a long time at all. In fact, it felt like too short a time to get everything done. I have to admit that feeling miserable for two weeks made me appreciate feeling fine again when my cold was gone. I realized I had pretty much taken good health for granted most of the time. I think getting older and realizing that the body gets more fragile as we age has made me more appreciative of small favors, like being able to sidestep a trip on the stairs by grabbing the railing just in time to avoid a fall that possibly could have resulted in a broken bone. Now, every time I almost fall but don't, I say “thank you" to whatever source prevented me from having a bad fall. Other “almost” incidents also make me feel grateful. Just the other day I was cracking an egg into a bowl and somehow my hand bumped into the bowl and almost knocked it off the counter top. Luckily, I righted the dish before its contents could fall to the floor and land inside the heating grate next to the counter. Imagining what an odor that might have caused if I couldn't get into the grate to clean it. I said my little “thank you" for that, too. Then there are times when I don't feel grateful at all, like when everything that was familiar is taken over by technology to “make things easier for us" — and all it does is confuse me and make everything more complicated, especially anything to do with cell phones, cameras and computers. [My husband gave me a digital movie camera for my birthday last year, but no matter how hard I try to study the manual, I just can't seem to operate that camera.] I guess what I'm trying to say is that I miss the way things were when I understood everything and felt reasonably smart. Lately I feel so behind in technology that too much seems to be beyond my comprehension. I don't particularly like that feeling and don't know what to expect in 2006. Like most years, 2005 was wonderful for some people and horrible for others, especially the people who faced devastation in the hurricanes and landslides, and the loss of jobs, homes and lives. Yet so much compassion was displayed by so many people that we can't say it was a totally terrible year. What I'd like to see in 2006 is what the Spectrum staff hoped for in their first edition of this new year — namely, world peace, greater tolerance of differences in people at home and abroad, people reaching out to help others, plus quality progress in New Milford's educational and economic programs. _
I'd also like to see what preacher Joel Osteen wrote about in the January issue of Guideposts. He urged that we choose happiness by concentrating on what's good in our lives instead of what's wrong; by being true to who we are and not trying to be what we're not; by not giving up when things seem hopeless but using positive words and uplifting quotes that can work miracles; and by doing more giving than taking. [Helping someone else in need is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.] For the New Milford Senior Center, 2006 started off with it: much-loved program director, Catherine Bachrach, retiring at the end of January, and I’m sure all the seniors who frequent the center wish that weren't so. Catherine was the quintessential cheerer-upper for all of us who know her. She made everyone feel special and welcomed at the center, never seemed to lose her capacity for cheeriness, and did a wonderful job in choosing programs for seniors to enjoy. If someone was feeling out of sorts, she provided a sympathetic ear and did her best to soothe whatever was bothering them. A true gem, Catherine will be sorely missed. * Hopefully, 2006 will be a year that people remember for mostly good things happening.
Terri Andersen, who lived in New Milford for 36 years and has been a regular columnist in the “Spectrum Maturity" section of The Greater New Milford Spectrum the past several years, recently moved to North Carolina.
Maturity
Terri Andersen
What will the new year bring into our lives?
Here it is, another new year, and so many of us wonder where last year's time went. At least that's the impression I get from the people who wrote notes in their Christmas cards to “I can't believe another year has passed,” some said. “Where did the time go?" others asked. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, the passage of time can be arduously long or extremely short, depending to what's going on in our life at the moment. Someone said an example of Einsteins theory would be the difference between five minutes sitting on a hot stove and five minutes spent with someone you love. I know that when I had a bad cold that lasted two weeks in December, I felt like I'd been sick for such a long time there must be something seriously wrong. Then when the cold finally went away and I got into getting ready for Christmas, two weeks didn't feel like a long time at all. In fact, it felt like too short a time to get everything done. I have to admit that feeling miserable for two weeks made me appreciate feeling fine again when my cold was gone. I realized I had pretty much taken good health for granted most of the time. I think getting older and realizing that the body gets more fragile as we age has made me more appreciative of small favors, like being able to sidestep a trip on the stairs by grabbing the railing just in time to avoid a fall that possibly could have resulted in a broken bone. Now, every time I almost fall but don't, I say “thank you" to whatever source prevented me from having a bad fall. Other “almost” incidents also make me feel grateful. Just the other day I was cracking an egg into a bowl and somehow my hand bumped into the bowl and almost knocked it off the counter top. Luckily, I righted the dish before its contents could fall to the floor and land inside the heating grate next to the counter. Imagining what an odor that might have caused if I couldn't get into the grate to clean it. I said my little “thank you" for that, too. Then there are times when I don't feel grateful at all, like when everything that was familiar is taken over by technology to “make things easier for us" — and all it does is confuse me and make everything more complicated, especially anything to do with cell phones, cameras and computers. [My husband gave me a digital movie camera for my birthday last year, but no matter how hard I try to study the manual, I just can't seem to operate that camera.] I guess what I'm trying to say is that I miss the way things were when I understood everything and felt reasonably smart. Lately I feel so behind in technology that too much seems to be beyond my comprehension. I don't particularly like that feeling and don't know what to expect in 2006. Like most years, 2005 was wonderful for some people and horrible for others, especially the people who faced devastation in the hurricanes and landslides, and the loss of jobs, homes and lives. Yet so much compassion was displayed by so many people that we can't say it was a totally terrible year. What I'd like to see in 2006 is what the Spectrum staff hoped for in their first edition of this new year — namely, world peace, greater tolerance of differences in people at home and abroad, people reaching out to help others, plus quality progress in New Milford's educational and economic programs. _
I'd also like to see what preacher Joel Osteen wrote about in the January issue of Guideposts. He urged that we choose happiness by concentrating on what's good in our lives instead of what's wrong; by being true to who we are and not trying to be what we're not; by not giving up when things seem hopeless but using positive words and uplifting quotes that can work miracles; and by doing more giving than taking. [Helping someone else in need is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.] For the New Milford Senior Center, 2006 started off with it: much-loved program director, Catherine Bachrach, retiring at the end of January, and I’m sure all the seniors who frequent the center wish that weren't so. Catherine was the quintessential cheerer-upper for all of us who know her. She made everyone feel special and welcomed at the center, never seemed to lose her capacity for cheeriness, and did a wonderful job in choosing programs for seniors to enjoy. If someone was feeling out of sorts, she provided a sympathetic ear and did her best to soothe whatever was bothering them. A true gem, Catherine will be sorely missed. * Hopefully, 2006 will be a year that people remember for mostly good things happening.
Terri Andersen, who lived in New Milford for 36 years and has been a regular columnist in the “Spectrum Maturity" section of The Greater New Milford Spectrum the past several years, recently moved to North Carolina.
Thursday, July 7, 2016
Former resident reflects on change following move to North Carolina
Spectrum
Friday, December 2, 2005
Former resident reflects on change following move to North Carolina
A lot of people seemed surprised when my husband and I decided to move to North Carolina. They wondered why we would take on such a big change at this senior citizen stage of our lives. Some people even came right out and told us not to do it. They didn't think moving just to be nearer our children and grandchildren was enough reason to disturb our roots, since younger people have a tendency to move when jobs or other circumstances demand it, they said. I can't say I fault them in their opinion because until a few months ago Herb and I felt the same way. Why rock the boat when the sailing is comfortable as is? But the fact that we missed the kids and that all five of them kept urging us to move closer to them made us at least consider the idea. The fact that they even found a house for us to buy clinched our decision to take the giant step we did. What's nice is that the people we were closest to in New Milford are still in touch with us and keep us up to date on what's going on, either by phone or by sending clippings from the local papers. We were sorry to hear about the Thrift Mart's problems and hope their move to a new location will be a big success. Also, I hate the thought of missing the AARP Christmas party at the Holiday Restaurant this year. I wish there were a way to get from one place to another like they do in the Star Trek shows (“Beam me up to New Milford, Scotty"). Obviously we're not that technologically advanced yet, but if we were, you can bet I'd be there. As sad as it was to leave the home and the people we grew attached to in New Milford, it was also hard to downsize years of accumulations. Then there were all the telephone calls to cancel local services and sign up for new ones, plus notifying insurance people, banks and anyone else one deals with, of the change of address. Just the frustration of getting past the automated telephone systems used these days is enough to frazzle the nerves when trying to transact any kind of business. Now that we're in our new house, we realize it's what we need. It has only one flight of stairs instead of three and only 12 windows instead of 33, and it's a much newer house than the one we were in before, making housework a lot easier. Besides that, we see the kids often now, and whenever some chore needs doing (like heavy objects lifted or lawn mowing, for instance), one or two of the boys show up to take care of it for us. During Hurricane Wilma's onslaught, our daughter and her family decided to be on the safe side by evacuating from where they live in Florida and coming to our house for a few days. We were delighted to see them and to have them see our new home. We feel we're adjusting to our move, even though there are still some things that will take getting used to, like the fact that over 100,000 residents live in the “small town” we thought we were moving to, and there are four- to six-lane roads to maneuver to get to any of the numerous shopping centers for supermarkets or any other place with which we need to do business. Thank goodness the roads and all the surrounding greenery are well taken care of and the traffic signals are well-organized, so Herb doesn't mind doing the driving. As for change in general, it's something everyone has to deal with whether staying in one place or moving to another. I have a friend in New Milford who still lives in the house where she was born, yet she's seen many changes over the years. Her quiet street has become a busy thoroughfare, and some of her property had to be sacrificed for widening of the street. She saw the town change from a place where everyone knew everyone else to a place where today she might go to the supermarket or to the Village Green and not see a familiar face. Seeing the demise of the local M&B IGA was also sad for her, although she realizes that nothing stays the same forever, and progress must go on. If the house or town we live in is not changed, just about everything else in our life is. Advances in technology alone sometimes make us feel that we can never keep up with all the new ways of dealing with everyday life. As we get older, our bodies change and don't respond or cooperate the way they once did, and there's not much we can do about it. Then there are the changes that take away our independence, like having to give up driving a car, or having to go to a nursing home. All change — whether it's by choice or not — takes a lot of adjustment, and the best we can do is to look for the positive side of it. We have a Norman Vincent Peale magnet on our refrigerator that reads: “The secret of life isn't what happens to you but what you do with what happens to you.” -
A longtime New Milford resident, Terri Andersen moved from New Milford to North Carolina this fall. –
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
Thank You New Milford
Spectrum
Friday, October 7, 2005
Maturity
Thank you so much, New Milford, for 36 years of happy memories
Never to be forgotten will be New Milford's enjoyable Village Fair Days, the concerts on the Green, the hometown parades our kids marched in, the talent shows we watched two of our boys win at New Milford High School, and the home we were blessed to live in for the last 36 years.
When my husband and I moved to New Milford in 1969, we had no idea what to expect. We came because we needed a home for our growing family and didn't want to be too far from Danbury, where Herb worked at the time. The first thing that impressed us was seeing mountains in the background of the railroad station off Bank Street, which made us feel we were in “the country." (My brother from California called my mountains “hills with trees” in comparison to his states mountains, but as former big-city people, hills with trees were not part of our past landscape, and we loved them.) When we drove a little ways up Route 202 and saw people skating on a frozen pond, we felt we were in a different era, one seen only in the movies. The view from the back windows of our house was equally impressive to us, with lots of trees, and spectacular sunsets. When railroad trains blowing their whistle came chugging along not far from our back yard, the kids couldn't run to a window fast enough to watch the trains go by. In those days, our city relatives took the passenger train to New Milford to visit us, and they, too, loved the rural atmosphere of this area. Then there was the Easter Sunday that was more like Christmas because of a heavy snowfall. Since the church we attend was in town on Elm Street back then, many of its parishioners left their cars home that Sunday and walked in the middle of the road to get to church. Instead of sporting Easter finery, everyone was bundled up in their winter coats and boots, and it seemed only natural for people to comment on the unusual weather. I remember loving the feeling that New Milford was such a friendly town. When spring arrived, the scenery was even more beautiful, with young trees budding and spring flowers blossoming everywhere one looked. I was blossoming, too, with baby number five on the way. Since New Milford Hospital was nearby, that's where I delivered, and I couldn't get over the wonderful care I got there. My first three children were born in a Brooklyn hospital where eight to 10 new mothers shared award, and the bathroom was down the hall someplace. Our fourth baby arrived in the middle of the night in Danbury, where I was left in a dark labor room all by myself, cringing with pain, only to have a nurse passing by in the corridor cheerily say, “Having a good one, eh?” and continuing on her way down the hall. (Husbands weren't allowed in the labor room in those days), When baby number 5 was born, in New Milford Hospital, a nurse's aide sat by my bedside the whole time, rubbing my back and offering words of comfort. The difference in care was like night and day. The following year (no, I didn't have another baby), I needed to find some part-time work when Herb's company cut out everyone's overtime. I wondered where I'd be able to find a typist job close by, with a company that had evening hours so Herb could watch the kids and we wouldn't have to hire a babysitter. Along came Mary Cleary, secretary at the school our kids attended at the time, and she suggested I apply at the local newspaper office, which I did, and I was told I could start working there that evening. Even though the typesetting machine was a little more complex than a typewriter, I managed to learn what I had to and ended up working there for the next 10 years. One day an editor of one of the paper's supplements found herself with an empty page to fill a few hours before deadline and wondered where she could find some copy at the last minute. When I told her I had some pieces I had written just for the fun of it at home, she told me to go get them and she'd see if she could use them. She wasn't at her desk when I came back to the office, so I just left them there and hoped for the best. When the paper came out the next morning, there were the two pieces I had written, byline and all, and I was ecstatic. When she asked me if I’d like to write for her on a regular basis, I was in heaven, and I have been writing articles or columns ever since. I'll always remember New Milford as the place I first got published over 30 years ago. I'll also remember the wonderful people I met along the way. Art and Norm Cummings were two of my co-workers in the '70s, as were a number of typesetters who are some of my best friends to this day. . Then there are the people I met when I worked for the state, the people I worked with at New Milford Thrift Mart (where I found some terrific bargains, too), the dedicated people at AARP the members of my church, and last but definitely not least, the wonderful people who run New Milford's super Senior Center. Never to be forgotten will be New Milford's enjoyable Village Fair Days, the concerts on the Green, the hometown parades our kids marched in, the talent shows we watched two of our boys win at New Milford High School, and the home we were blessed to live in for the last 36 years. By the time this is in print, Herb and I will most likely be in North Carolina, living closer to our children and grandchildren, but a part of our hearts will always be in New Milford.
Terri Andersen, who lived in New Milford for 36 years and has been a regular columnist in the “Spectrum Maturity” sections of The Greater New Milford Spectrum the past several years, is in the process of moving to North Carolina.
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
To move or not to move, that is the question for my husband and me
Maturity
Friday, August 5, 2005
Terri Andersen
Senior Moments
Lately I have seen a lot of houses for sale in this area, and many condos and big houses being built. - That obviously means a lot of people are on the move. Some people say “now is the time to sell” and others say “now is the time to buy.” Evidently both selling and buying are going strong these days. Why I chose this subject to write about this month is because there's a possibility my husband and I may be among those on the move one of these days, since all five of our grown children moved south (four to North Carolina and one to Florida) for better job opportunities. Now they keep telling us it's our turn to move to be closer to them. On the plus side, we'd move into a smaller place than we have here (now that Herb and I are “up there” in age, the house we're in is getting to be a bit much for us to take care of). Also, we wouldn't have to worry about shoveling snow in the winter, and our boys tell us they would help with any yard work and repairs if needed (everybody tells us not to count on that). The biggest plus, though, is that we'd see our children and our grandchildren more often. On the negative side is the fact that we'd have to leave the many friends we've made in New Milford, plus a house we love (spacious, with lovely views, and within walking distance of the village center, which means a lot to me personally because I don't drive). One of the things that's bothering us, though, is that we'd have to sell before we could afford to buy, and that puts us in a quandary about what appliances to leave behind, since we wouldn't know ahead of time what would be in a house we choose after we sell this one. Then there's the big decision to downsize everything we own in order to have less to move (I hear moving costs a bundle), and I've written previously about how hard it is to part with things we've accumulated over the years. My family and I have been in our house for over 36 years now, and the notion of moving never entered our minds, because we considered this house a godsend from the minute we found it. In 1969, with four children and a fifth one on the way, we were renting a two-bedroom garden apartment in Danbury, when all the tenants were notified that someone bought the whole complex of over 50 units and wanted everyone out so that the apartments could be converted into condos that would eventually be for sale, not rental. My husband and I had no idea how we'd manage to find a new place to live, since we had no savings for a down payment on a house or condo, and there weren't that many landlords who wanted to rent to a family with a lot of kids. (Even when we went to buy a bed one time, with all the kids in tow, the salesperson said, “twin beds for you two, I hope.” I guess he thought he was being funny.) One night, not being able to sleep because I was so worried about where we would live, I started fantasizing about what kind of house would be ideal for us. Four or five bedrooms, preferably all on one floor, and a large yard for the kids to play in would be nice. I then asked God if He would help us find the right house for us, regardless of how many bedrooms it had, as long as it was something we could afford. When I told my husband about my fantasy, he said: “Get real. We'd never be able to afford a house with five bedrooms.” The next day a few neighbors and I got together in my living room and were poring over real estate ads in the newspapers, since we were all in the same situation. After they left, I noticed someone had left one paper open to the ads, and I decided to take another look at it. The first ad that jumped out at me was for a five-bedroom house in New Milford, listed as a handyman special, at a price we might be able to afford if we could get someone to lend us some money for a down payment. Serendipity? At the time, I had no idea where New Milford was, and I didn't even wait for Herb to come home from work (and try to tell me he wasn't that handy). I went right ahead and called the Realtor and asked for an appointment to see the house listed. It wasn't all on one floor, but that was OK. Three flights of stairs would be good exercise for all of us. When the kids saw the spaciousness of the house, they went a little crazy with joy. The two oldest boys, who were 10 and 13 at the time, were ecstatic at the thought of each of them having his own bedroom up in the attic, which had two finished rooms and a tree-top view from four stories up. Our 7-year-old daughter was equally excited about not having to share a bedroom with her siblings, and that left a master bedroom for Herb and me, plus a nursery for the year-and-a-half-old toddler and the baby due the following month. To make a long story short, Herb's parents, my parents and my brother managed to scrape together enough money for a down payment for us, and the house was ours. - Herb turned out to be handier than he thought he was, the kids all pitched in to help in whatever way they could, and I can honestly say we all fell in love with this house. Some years later, the town decided to put sidewalks on our Street, which meant we had to sacrifice a part of the yard to have a driveway put in, but even that was a good thing, since by then the older kids had cars of their own plus friends with cars, and we were the only place on the block with room for six or seven cars. Just the idea of moving at our age is mind-boggling, but we know people who've done it and survived, so I guess we would, too. But it's such a hard decision to make.
Terri Andersen is a resident of New Milford.
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
I'd rather live with problem I have than problem I might get from drug
Spectrum
Maturity
Friday, June 3, 2005
Terri Andersen
I'd rather live with problem I have than problem I might get from drug
Every time I see a drug commercial on TV, it amazes me that anyone would even consider taking the product after hearing what could happen as a side effect of the medicine advertised. "Ask your doctor if this medicine is right for you," they often add at the end of the commercial. Can a doctor really be sure which drug will adversely affect one patient and not another? In addition to the commercials, the printed material that comes with prescription drugs these days and all the information available on the Internet sometimes makes me wonder if I'm better off with the condition I have than what I might get by taking the medicine prescribed. I realize that it's all about CYA (cover your assets) protection for the drug companies, and most of those side effects might never happen, but for me it's led to a bad case of pharma-ceutiphobia. [I'm not sure that word is in any dictionary, but I think it's pretty self explanatory: a fear of medicine.] When I lost my sense of smell a few years ago, I went to a doctor to see if I could get it back. After I got the prescription filled for a nasal spray, I decided not to take it. Why? The medicine prescribed couldn't guarantee good results for the problem (anosmia), and when I read all the possible side effects (nose bleeds, hole in septum, eye problems, to name a few) I figured I'd rather live with the problem I had than the problem I might get. Later I found out that two people I know had taken that particular medicine, and one subsequently suffered from severe nose bleeds and the other had to have two eye operations. Worse yet, neither got their sense of smell back, while mine is slowly returning on its own. [All the flowers I got for Mother's Day filled the house with perfume. While I couldn't identify each scent individually, I was very much aware of the aroma of flowers. And I can smell when something's burning on the stove in the kitchen even before the smoke alarm goes off.] As a senior citizen who comes in contact with a pretty wide circle of other seniors (at the Senior Center, the ThriftMart and AARP), I find that health conditions are a pretty popular topic, and sooner or later there are discussions about medical side effects and how many different medications have to be taken because of them. Recently a medicine prescribed for me sounded good for the condition I have, and I was ready to take it until I read the warnings about its possible side effects. The brochure had to let people know that the medication caused bone cancer in some of the rats used in the medical experiments, but to alleviate any fears a potential user might have, the brochure stated it was “not known” if humans would be affected the same way. If that wasn't enough to scare me, the “milder” side effects were possible dizziness and leg cramps, neither of which I was anxious to experience. The doctor prescribing the medication told me to “think zero" concerning any possible side effects, but while I agreed with him that how one thinks has a big effect on results (placebos, for example), trying to ignore something we've already heard is like a judge telling a jury to ignore some incriminating evidence that was just stated and not to let it influence their decision. That's easier said than done. In fact, usually that's what becomes the focal point in one's thoughts. As it is, my whole sense of carefree living has changed to worry about what might happen now that I know my body is not as healthy and strong as it once was. It also didn't help to read that with many medications elderly patients may have greater sensitivity to the adverse effects. I hope what I've written doesn't sound like I'm against doctors or medicine in general. I realize many lives are improved or even saved by doctors, and I'm glad we have medicines that can accomplish amazing cures. However, I can't help being afraid of the harm they might also do." - I'm probably a doctor's nightmare because I question everything, and I know I don't make the ones who have to deal with me very happy. In the old days, patients weren't given much information about the medicine prescribed for them, and a lot of healing was done with nature's own remedies, but I guess that's not good enough anymore. A friend whose son is a pharmacist told me not to pay so much attention to, the side effects of medication because the odds of getting them are often very low. She said that even if only one person in a few thousand experienced a problem, it had to be listed. My concern is for that “one” whom the odds didn't favor. I don't mind taking a chance on winning a multi-dollar sweepstakes with odds of one in a few million because if I don't win it doesn't really affect my life. But taking a chance on getting an ailment that might be worse than what I have scares me. I guess I don't like playing Russian Roulette.
Terri Andersen is a resident of New Milford. -
Maturity
Friday, June 3, 2005
Terri Andersen
I'd rather live with problem I have than problem I might get from drug
Every time I see a drug commercial on TV, it amazes me that anyone would even consider taking the product after hearing what could happen as a side effect of the medicine advertised. "Ask your doctor if this medicine is right for you," they often add at the end of the commercial. Can a doctor really be sure which drug will adversely affect one patient and not another? In addition to the commercials, the printed material that comes with prescription drugs these days and all the information available on the Internet sometimes makes me wonder if I'm better off with the condition I have than what I might get by taking the medicine prescribed. I realize that it's all about CYA (cover your assets) protection for the drug companies, and most of those side effects might never happen, but for me it's led to a bad case of pharma-ceutiphobia. [I'm not sure that word is in any dictionary, but I think it's pretty self explanatory: a fear of medicine.] When I lost my sense of smell a few years ago, I went to a doctor to see if I could get it back. After I got the prescription filled for a nasal spray, I decided not to take it. Why? The medicine prescribed couldn't guarantee good results for the problem (anosmia), and when I read all the possible side effects (nose bleeds, hole in septum, eye problems, to name a few) I figured I'd rather live with the problem I had than the problem I might get. Later I found out that two people I know had taken that particular medicine, and one subsequently suffered from severe nose bleeds and the other had to have two eye operations. Worse yet, neither got their sense of smell back, while mine is slowly returning on its own. [All the flowers I got for Mother's Day filled the house with perfume. While I couldn't identify each scent individually, I was very much aware of the aroma of flowers. And I can smell when something's burning on the stove in the kitchen even before the smoke alarm goes off.] As a senior citizen who comes in contact with a pretty wide circle of other seniors (at the Senior Center, the ThriftMart and AARP), I find that health conditions are a pretty popular topic, and sooner or later there are discussions about medical side effects and how many different medications have to be taken because of them. Recently a medicine prescribed for me sounded good for the condition I have, and I was ready to take it until I read the warnings about its possible side effects. The brochure had to let people know that the medication caused bone cancer in some of the rats used in the medical experiments, but to alleviate any fears a potential user might have, the brochure stated it was “not known” if humans would be affected the same way. If that wasn't enough to scare me, the “milder” side effects were possible dizziness and leg cramps, neither of which I was anxious to experience. The doctor prescribing the medication told me to “think zero" concerning any possible side effects, but while I agreed with him that how one thinks has a big effect on results (placebos, for example), trying to ignore something we've already heard is like a judge telling a jury to ignore some incriminating evidence that was just stated and not to let it influence their decision. That's easier said than done. In fact, usually that's what becomes the focal point in one's thoughts. As it is, my whole sense of carefree living has changed to worry about what might happen now that I know my body is not as healthy and strong as it once was. It also didn't help to read that with many medications elderly patients may have greater sensitivity to the adverse effects. I hope what I've written doesn't sound like I'm against doctors or medicine in general. I realize many lives are improved or even saved by doctors, and I'm glad we have medicines that can accomplish amazing cures. However, I can't help being afraid of the harm they might also do." - I'm probably a doctor's nightmare because I question everything, and I know I don't make the ones who have to deal with me very happy. In the old days, patients weren't given much information about the medicine prescribed for them, and a lot of healing was done with nature's own remedies, but I guess that's not good enough anymore. A friend whose son is a pharmacist told me not to pay so much attention to, the side effects of medication because the odds of getting them are often very low. She said that even if only one person in a few thousand experienced a problem, it had to be listed. My concern is for that “one” whom the odds didn't favor. I don't mind taking a chance on winning a multi-dollar sweepstakes with odds of one in a few million because if I don't win it doesn't really affect my life. But taking a chance on getting an ailment that might be worse than what I have scares me. I guess I don't like playing Russian Roulette.
Terri Andersen is a resident of New Milford. -
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
I realized I'm more attached to "things" than I thought
Spectrum
Maturity
Friday, April 1, 2005
Terri Andersen
Senior Moments
I realized I’m more attached to 'things' than I'd thought
My husband and I recently visited some friends who had just moved to a condo after living in a fairly large house for 27 years. They said it took them over three months to get ready for their move because there was so much they had accumulated over the years and they agonized over what to take with them and what to dispose of. As I listened to them tell us how hard it was to part with things they had become attached to, I began to wonder what I could live without and what I couldn't. How does one downsize home inventory? How does one relinquish prized possessions? - How does one decide what's treasure and what's junk? As I looked at everything in our house after we got home from the visit, I was appalled at how much we would have to part with if we should decide to move to a smaller place someday — and I don't doubt that day will come, when three flights of stairs and a steep driveway become more than we can handle. I always bragged that I was not a “material girl,” that things were not important to me. Well, I'm finding out that I was wrong. As I resolved to start getting rid of items little by little, I realized I'm more attached to “things” than I had thought. The big items, like furniture and the piano, shouldn't be a problem — there definitely will have to be room for my piano — but all the “stuff" accumulated over the years might create some uncomfortable decisions. When I first retired from work outside the home, I promised myself I’d sort through all the snapshots taken over the last 20 years, get rid of duplicates or imperfect shots, then put the ones worth saving into albums by subject (vacations, weddings, holidays, family gatherings, etc.). I even picked up a bunch of albums with which to do the job, but nine years of retirement slipped by and that job never seemed to be enough of a priority to get it done. That means all those photos and albums will have to come with us to our next house. Then there are the books I can't see myself parting with. We have a set of World Book Encyclopedias from the 1960s, and everyone tells me to get rid of them, that they're outdated and I could get any information I need on the Internet. But so many times I want a fact about a state, a country, a past president, a flower, bird, or whatever, and find what I want without having to hook up to the computer. Often while I'm looking for what I want in the encyclopedia, I see so many other interesting subjects to read about under any given letter of the alphabet. I figure facts are facts, whatever date they took place. As for classic stories and inspirational books, I can't imagine getting rid of any of them, either. Ditto for videos of the Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers and Cary Grant era. I can't even part with sentimental greeting cards I’ve gotten over the years from friends and relatives. And if a card is not particularly sentimental but has a beautiful scene, I save that, too, thinking I'll use it as a guide when I want to do a painting someday. That means the art supplies will have to come to the next house, too. When I think of all the clothes in my dresser drawers and closets, I get mad at myself for holding on to items I hardly ever wear. I must have over 30 tops, all clean and neatly folded in one dresser, but every time I try one of those on, there's something just not right about it and I head for the same four or five tops in my closet that are comfortable old standbys. (Truthfully, it's because they're kinder to my figure flaws, which I tell myself will be gone someday and the others will fit just fine then. Sound familiar?) Then there's footwear. I’ll buy a new pair of boots and think I'll throw the old ones out, only to find myself holding onto the old boots because they're still good enough to wear to go out and shovel snow. Ditto for old shoes. They're good enough for around the house or in the garden, so why throw them out? It may be a little late for New Year resolutions, but spring cleaning is another good reason to eliminate clutter, so I'm resolving to get rid of a few things every day until only the essentials will have to be transported if we decide to move to a smaller place. The big issue now is whether I get my husband to get rid of some of his excess baggage. I say he has more “stuff" than I do, but he doesn't agree.
Is there a 12-step program for packrats?
Terri Andersen is a resident of New Milford.
Friday, June 17, 2016
Advice on how to enjoy and/or survive 50 years of marriage
Spectrum
Friday, February 4, 2005
Maturity
Terri Andersen
Senior Moments
Advice on how to enjoy and/or survive 50 years of marriage
When someone lives to the ripe old age of 100, everyone wants to know what contributed to his or her longevity. Likewise, when a couple celebrates 50 years of marriage, they're often asked what contributed to the longevity of their marriage. As someone who just recently celebrated a golden anniversary, I feel I'm qualified to answer that second question. Mind you, this piece will be from my viewpoint, since I'm the talkative one in the family. Husband Herb is a nice guy but usually not one to put his views into words. (What? You think to spend 50 years together a couple has to have the same viewpoint on everything? Get real! Show me two people who think exactly alike, who agree on everything and never have a difference of opinion.) The first thing a couple has to learn when they get married is how to live with someone who's practically their exact opposite. (That realization is usually discovered pretty soon after the honeymoon.) - Ever notice how there's one partner who's a spender and the other decidedly “frugal,” to put it kindly, or one is a neatnik and the other is more of a “free spirit” who thinks nothing of leaving a wet towel on the bathroom floor or, worse yet, on the freshly made bed. - When Herb and I had a difference of opinion one time, I was told not to “have a cow" about it. So I learned to have a calf instead of a cow by deciding and choosing what was really important to me and letting go of things of lesser consequence. Here's what I came up with:
C: for Compromise. Ideally, marriage is a partnership with someone you love, so don't always insist on having everything your way. Both partners should have a say about things that matter to them, and with sincere consideration for each other a solution will be possible. (My mother's advice to us when we were getting married was short and sweet: All she said was “Be kind to each other.”)
A: for Acceptance of your partner as he or she is and not how you think he or she should be. If someone is the quiet type, don't expect compliments and praises over everything you do. Do what has to be done because it's the right thing to do and you know that. (Pat yourself on the back if you have to be praised.)
L: for Laughter. Both partners having a compatible sense of humor has been one of the biggest factors in the enjoyment of our marriage. Herb is great with puns, and while some people might groan at them, I see them as creative and funny. It amazes us that we find so much to laugh about, and Herb often tells people that I still laugh at his jokes after all these years, like he can't get over it.
F: for Forgiveness, a very important factor in keeping a marriage together. Living together for 50 years is bound to include some occasions where one's feelings get hurt, sometimes more so than other times. It may take a few hours or a even few days to get over it, but without forgiveness a marriage has little chance of surviving as a happy relationship. (It does help, too, when the offender says, “I’m sorry,” contrary to the line in the “Love Story” movie: “Love means never having to say you're sorry.") I have to say that Herb and I consider ourselves blessed to have found each other all those years ago and to have raised our five children together. We've had our ups and downs over the years (even a red hot rage now and then), but the ups have outweighed the downs, and we're so glad we were able to stay together through it all. What's surprises me when I mention “downs” is that neither of us even remembers what they were about. (Sometimes I wonder if a lot of today's divorces could have been averted if couples gave themselves more time to get over what they considered irreconcilable.) As a married senior citizen, you don't dare say anything even remotely critical of your spouse because so many people, women especially, have lost their partners by this stage of their lives, and the first thing they'll say is, “Be glad you still have each other. I'd do anything to have my husband back again." If nothing else, it makes us realize how bleak our life could be without each other. As for our children, they're proud of the fact that their parents stayed married for 50 years and showed it by giving us the gift of a Caribbean cruise for our anniversary (a suite on the ship and a chauffeur to take us from the plane to the ship, mind you). They went all out for us, and we had a wonderful time. One of the highlights was a special dinner in the ship's elite French restaurant on the actual night of the anniversary, with a special cake and serenade by the waiters, plus a place on the stage when the ship had a Newlywed/Not So Newlywed game, and we were the ones married the longest. It was hilarious, and we won a bottle of champagne. After that we were getting congratulated by everyone on the ship who saw us on stage that night. As a bonus, our daughter and son-in-law had arranged for their children's godmother and her friend, who live near New Orleans, to meet us at the ship when it docked there and give us a tour of the French Quarter before taking us to the airport. We loved it, and it was the icing on the cake for me. I'd say the best part of the trip for us was that we could still enjoy each other's company and have fun together like we did in our younger years.
Terri Andersen is a resident of New Milford.
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Happiness comes from complaining less and being positive more often
Spectrum
Maturity
Terri Andersen
Senior Moments
Friday, December 3, 2004
Happiness comes from complaining less and being positive more often
In my last column, I aired a lot of grievances the average person has with today's world. I wrote about how technology sometimes makes things more unpleasant than we would like them to be (like pre-recorded telephone messages, advertisements on TV and in the mail, unsolicited credit card applications and blank checks). But would it make us happy to do away with today's telephones, televisions or computers? I doubt it. Unfortunately, so much of what irritates us is something that benefits the business or organization that originated the practice, so it's probably here to stay. Since we can't go back in time, we might as well do what we can to enjoy what's good in the here and now. (The Serenity Prayer might help: “God, grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.") It's often been said, if you want to be happy, do what it takes to make other people happy. Abraham Lincoln is quoted as saying, “When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad." Scholars say the universe gives back to us what we give to the universe. If we're generous and grateful people, we'll be rewarded with more to be grateful for. If we live a mean or selfish life, peace and happiness will elude us. There may be times when the good we do and giving our best to the world might not be appreciated, but we shouldn't let that bother us. Mother Teresa advocated that we do good and give our best to the world anyway. Another key to happiness is to appreciate what we have and not dwell on what we don't have. Remember the song "Accentuate the Positive, Eliminate the Negative"? That pretty much says it all. Often a person with a few problems might be tempted to ask, “What do I have to be thankful for? My bills are piling up, I hate my job, nobody understands me,” or something to that effect. The trouble is, a lot of people see only what's wrong and don't take the time to see all that's right in their world or put in the effort it takes to get what they want. Every day we have things to be thankful for — the beauty of nature that surrounds us, the abundance of foods available to us, family, friends, the wondrous body we live in — and so much more. What's the one thing anyone with a broken arm or leg would want more than anything else? Healing of that arm or leg, right? Yet if we have nothing broken, we take for granted all of our parts that are working fine. For anyone who doesn't think that's such a big deal, consider Christopher Reeve and what he had to go through after his paralyzing accident. In spite of his acknowledging that the mind and spirit transcend the body, in a Reader's Digest interview he admitted that sometimes it bothered him when people took their ability to move for granted. Sadly, Christopher didn't live to see a cure for spinal injuries, but he did as much as he could to champion that cause, which may very well help future victims. How we think also has a lot to do with happiness. As so many people have said, thoughts become things. Isn't it true that anything created by man first started with a thought? A book I’m reading, “There's a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem" by Wayne Dyer, says many people spend all their energy thinking about what they lack, or what they fear, not realizing that our thoughts have a big influence on what happens in our lives. According to Dr. Dyer, if we say we can't be happy unless we have this or that, we're not allowing happiness to come into our lives, and it will elude us as long as we think that way. The same goes for holding a grudge and harboring hate or resentment, which does more internal harm to the hater than to the one being hated. When we learn to forgive, we do ourselves a favor, Dr. Dyer says. He also says if we pursue a goal and believe we can achieve it, we put ourselves in a frame of mind which brings good vibrations into our field of energy. I think even something as simple as a smile can make a change in our attitude. If you're feeling down in the dumps, put a smile on your face, just for the fun of it, and it's surprising how uplifted that can make you feel. (Of course, if you walk around with a smile on your face all the time, people will wonder what you've just done or what you're thinking about, but so what? Keep them guessing.) Another quote attributed to Lincoln is: “A man can be as happy as he makes up his mind to be.” What we all have to remember is that our most important power is the power of choice. We can choose the negative, which supplies us with a lower energy field, or the positive, which supplies us with a higher energy field. We can choose peace instead of despair, forgiveness instead of holding a grudge, and to give instead of take. See the best in people instead of the worst. Everyone has ups and downs in their life, but it seems to me our happiness or unhappiness depends on which we choose to focus on, the ups or the downs.
Terri Andersen is a resident of New Milford.
Thursday, June 9, 2016
There are lots of irritants about our life in 21st century
Spectrum
Friday, October 8, 2004
Maturity
Terri Andersen
Senior Moments
There are lots of little irritants about our life in 21st century
The other day I got a letter in the mail, a personal letter from a friend who moved from New Milford to Montana, and I was absolutely delighted. What's the big deal about receiving a letter in the mail? Well, writing personal letters seems to be becoming a lost art, and that letter made me realize how rare it is to receive mail that's actually enjoyable. (E-mail is nice, too, but there's something special about a handwritten letter.) While we all await with anticipation a visit from the mailman, glad to receive greeting cards, a magazine we subscribe to, or an occasional check in the mail (we wish), our mailboxes are more apt to be filled with bills, advertisements, requests for contributions and all kinds of junk mail that lands in the garbage and we have to pay to dispose of it. Bills are a necessary evil that can't be avoided, but when unwanted catalogs fill up our mailbox I get irritated. One company sends me a thick school supply catalog every few months because I once bought an item from them when my granddaughter's class was involved in a school fund-raiser. I have no intention of buying anything else from that company, but they seem to have me on their list as a teacher, which I'm not. So to set them straight and save a few trees I wrote to them, asking them not to send me any more mail, but the catalogs keep coming. Another maddening item that comes in the mail almost every other day is the supposedly great news that I'm eligible for some bank's credit card. All I'd have to do is fill in the attached form and they'll reward me with access to their credit. But what if those letters fall into the wrong hands and someone signs up as me? Mail sometimes does go to a wrong address, so who knows if the recipient is honest or not and puts it back in the mailbox for the mailman to redeliver (and for me to shred). One bright spot is that we're warned so much about identity theft these days that we tend to be more cautious than we used to be. Even more maddening is when a credit card company sends blank checks in the mail, to grant us the privilege of using them for whatever we want. Of course, they would love to see us buy anything our little hearts desire so they can finance charge us to death, but what would happen if those checks got into the wrong hands? Luckily, when I called one company and told them to stop sending the checks, they seem to have listened, but why should it be necessary to have to contact all the people who send us unwanted mail? How about the nation's charities? Give to a worthy cause and your name is on every other charity's list with requests for contributions to them. One of the things that bothers me most among the many little irritants of life in the 21st century is how many glossy calendars I get every year, in addition to books, greeting cards, little junk gifts, and address labels by the hundreds, many from charities I never even heard of. The ones I believe in I'll contribute to, but those that waste money on “gifts” will never hear from me. - Is anyone wondering by now what side of the bed I woke up on this morning? Believe it or not, I’m trying to accommodate readers of this column who often suggest topics they think I ought to write about. One lady told me she wished I'd write about the frustration of trying to get through to a live person in a company that uses only recorded messages. You know, the ones that tell you to press 1 for this, 2 for that, 3 for something else, sometimes going to 6 or 7 presses without listing the information you really want. And then you get put on hold after practically any number you press. I can definitely relate to that. Sometimes a half-hour can go by without any satisfaction and the only alternative for me is to hang up before my nerves are completely shattered, (Who are they kidding when a recorded voice comes on every few minutes to tell you how important your call is to them?) Another common complaint is about television. We can have 100 channels to choose from and not find anything we care to watch. Then there are the annoying commercials. It seems for every five or 10 minutes of program there are three to five commercials to interrupt what we're watching. We were told years ago that if we paid to watch TV we wouldn't have to be bothered by commercials, yet with all we pay today we still have to put up with advertisements on almost all of the channels. Oh well, I guess we should all try to enjoy all the things that don't annoy us. Hopefully there are more of them than the irritants.
Terri Andersen is a resident of New Milford.
Monday, June 6, 2016
Mom's little article in a small town paper gets Washington DC's attention
August 27, 2004
Nutritive sweetener facts To the Editor: The commentary by Terri Andersen in the Aug. 6 edition of The Spectrum unfortunately misinforms consumers about the nutritive sweetener High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS). This is an issue that concerns good public health, and it is important consumers have all the facts about HFCS. Just last month, the Center for Food and Nutrition Policy at Virginia Tech issued a report compiled by scientists who reviewed a number of critical commentaries about HFCS. Their analysis found HFCS is not a unique contributor to obesity, and the Associated Press reported their findings in a July 17 story. According to the American Dietetic Association (ADA): “Consumers can safely enjoy a range of nutritive and non-nutritive sweeteners when consumed in a diet that is guided by current federal nutrition recommendations as well as individual health goals.” In 1983, the Food and Drug Administration listed HFCS as “Generally Recognized as Safe” (known as GRAS status) for use in food, and the FDA reaffirmed that ruling in 1988 and 1996. In its 1996 GRAS finding, the FDA noted “the saccharide composition (glucose to fructose ratio) of HFCS is approximately he same as that of honey, invert presented by association sugar and the disaccharide sucrose” (or table sugar). Many parts of the world, including Mexico, Europe and Russia, have rising rates of obesity despite having little or no HFCS in their foods and beverages due to tariffs and trade policies. In fact, the New York Times recently reported on Mexico's anti-HFCS trade policies (to protect its sugar industry) over the past several years, and a House of Commons report in Britain noted the obesity epidemic in that country. Both Mexico and Great Britain have virtually no HFCS in their foods and beverage. It is also important to note that HFCS is prevalent in a number of products for people who are trying to control their weight. Three examples include many Lean Cuisine dinners, Weight Watchers muffins and Healthy Choice ice cream—just three products made and marketed by companies whose customers are attempting to control or reduce their weight. HFCS is contained in many food and beverage formulations that provide recognized benefits to consumers. For more information about HFCS, please visit www.HFCSfacts.com.
Audrae Erickson
President Corn Refiners Association
Washington, D.C.
September 10, 2004
writer takes issue with DC firm over corn syrup
To the Editor: - * friend called me on Aug. 27 (before my mail came that day) to tell me there was a letter to the editor of The Greater New Milford Spectrum. regarding something I had written in my column for the Aug. 4. Spectrum Maturity section of the paper. The letter was from the Audrae Erikson President of The Corn Refiners Association in Washington, D.C., an I was both flabbergasted and flattered. Flabbergasted because I couldn't imagine that my chatty little column in Our local paper would reach anyone in Washington, D.C., and flattered that it did, even though they found with what I wrote. I want to make it clear that I stand firm on what I wrote about high fructose corn syrup mainly because I got my information from an AARP article entitled “What's Worse Than Sugar?" followed by loads of Internet information on the subject. An L.A. Times website went so far as abstinence, not moderation. Recently I saw a TV commercial making it a point to say their product contained. NO high fructose corn syrup. One label I read stressed that its product had "only 2 percent HFCS. Why would all these people single out HFCS as something to
avoid for no reason at all?
Terri Andersen
New Milford
Nutritive sweetener facts To the Editor: The commentary by Terri Andersen in the Aug. 6 edition of The Spectrum unfortunately misinforms consumers about the nutritive sweetener High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS). This is an issue that concerns good public health, and it is important consumers have all the facts about HFCS. Just last month, the Center for Food and Nutrition Policy at Virginia Tech issued a report compiled by scientists who reviewed a number of critical commentaries about HFCS. Their analysis found HFCS is not a unique contributor to obesity, and the Associated Press reported their findings in a July 17 story. According to the American Dietetic Association (ADA): “Consumers can safely enjoy a range of nutritive and non-nutritive sweeteners when consumed in a diet that is guided by current federal nutrition recommendations as well as individual health goals.” In 1983, the Food and Drug Administration listed HFCS as “Generally Recognized as Safe” (known as GRAS status) for use in food, and the FDA reaffirmed that ruling in 1988 and 1996. In its 1996 GRAS finding, the FDA noted “the saccharide composition (glucose to fructose ratio) of HFCS is approximately he same as that of honey, invert presented by association sugar and the disaccharide sucrose” (or table sugar). Many parts of the world, including Mexico, Europe and Russia, have rising rates of obesity despite having little or no HFCS in their foods and beverages due to tariffs and trade policies. In fact, the New York Times recently reported on Mexico's anti-HFCS trade policies (to protect its sugar industry) over the past several years, and a House of Commons report in Britain noted the obesity epidemic in that country. Both Mexico and Great Britain have virtually no HFCS in their foods and beverage. It is also important to note that HFCS is prevalent in a number of products for people who are trying to control their weight. Three examples include many Lean Cuisine dinners, Weight Watchers muffins and Healthy Choice ice cream—just three products made and marketed by companies whose customers are attempting to control or reduce their weight. HFCS is contained in many food and beverage formulations that provide recognized benefits to consumers. For more information about HFCS, please visit www.HFCSfacts.com.
Audrae Erickson
President Corn Refiners Association
Washington, D.C.
September 10, 2004
writer takes issue with DC firm over corn syrup
To the Editor: - * friend called me on Aug. 27 (before my mail came that day) to tell me there was a letter to the editor of The Greater New Milford Spectrum. regarding something I had written in my column for the Aug. 4. Spectrum Maturity section of the paper. The letter was from the Audrae Erikson President of The Corn Refiners Association in Washington, D.C., an I was both flabbergasted and flattered. Flabbergasted because I couldn't imagine that my chatty little column in Our local paper would reach anyone in Washington, D.C., and flattered that it did, even though they found with what I wrote. I want to make it clear that I stand firm on what I wrote about high fructose corn syrup mainly because I got my information from an AARP article entitled “What's Worse Than Sugar?" followed by loads of Internet information on the subject. An L.A. Times website went so far as abstinence, not moderation. Recently I saw a TV commercial making it a point to say their product contained. NO high fructose corn syrup. One label I read stressed that its product had "only 2 percent HFCS. Why would all these people single out HFCS as something to
avoid for no reason at all?
Terri Andersen
New Milford
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